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[challenge entry] My wife wont let me buy one :(

From the Macho Products challenge. See all 340 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:57, archived)
# hahaha!
commodious!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:59, archived)
# then smack her in the face and go get one for yourself!
Does she make you sit down to piss too?
(waxdart hello., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 13:59, archived)
# Good idea. *orders 3*
I deliberately piss on the seat and wait for the screams :)
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:03, archived)
# I spent many months devising a "walk-through" toilet
it still doesn't work :(
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:00, archived)
# You mean you kept pissing all over the bathroom floor?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:01, archived)
# However your corridor slip'n'slide's really coming along
:S
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:01, archived)
# I just use the shower
and push it down the plughole with my toe. Like in France.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:01, archived)
# o_O
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:02, archived)
# Except you use YOUR toe and not whichever part of your child will fit.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:02, archived)
# is today
Francophobia day? Oh, goody.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:03, archived)
# Yay
More jokes about French girls and their dubious personal hygiene please
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:04, archived)
# Don't be like that
I think it's fair to say that you started it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:05, archived)
# hey!
of course I did!
But I'm a quarter French, so I'm allowed. True fact.

edit: you didn't really think I was offended? Bof! De rien! etc...
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:07, archived)
# Yeah well, fuck you, I had a bite of a baguette earlier.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:09, archived)
# *offers honorary French status*
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:10, archived)
# \o/
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:19, archived)
# which quarter?
the arseholery regions?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:12, archived)
# yes
and the supercilious bits.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:12, archived)
# zut alors!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:13, archived)
# Fils de put de mon cul!
and sacre bleu!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:15, archived)
# i was with you
right up to the F
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:17, archived)
# haha!
'son of a bitch of my arse' - my French friend's favourite (and probably unique) swear.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:18, archived)
# yay!
i now know what to call the next arrogant fucker that pushes past me when i'm buying lunch in that rather crap truck-stop in montpelier!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:21, archived)
# yes!
it's a phrase that open doors when on the continong. I also have a friend from Montpelier. Small world, n'est pas?
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:22, archived)
# oui.
the truck-stop in question does have a rather splendid wall/rock thing, which is great for climbing and having a joint behind.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:24, archived)
# haha!
outdoor pursuits and getting stoned - a heady mix.
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:30, archived)
# indeed.
although the combination of outdoors and stoned could lead to having sex up a tree, which is damned uncomfortable :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:37, archived)
# YES!
I'm off to try that now
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:02, archived)
# see?
you had a 'walk-in toilet' all along!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:04, archived)
# I was so blind
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:05, archived)
# Colostomy pants
Worth every penny!
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:04, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:17, archived)
# Do Real Men™ actually get married?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:01, archived)
# Of course we do
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:12, archived)
# Hurrah!
I'd buy one.
also - hurrah for challenge entries that don't equate 'what men want' to 'inflicting pain on yourself'!
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:01, archived)
# haha!
nicely..
(I helped save b3ta! beaubodor blogless, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:02, archived)
# we have a winner!
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:02, archived)
# I like it,
*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:04, archived)
# what kind of real man lets his wife tell him what to do?
buy one, man, grow a fucking pair!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:06, archived)
# There are rules
1) Agree with the missus
2) File all comments under "Ignore"
3) Buy anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:08, archived)
# agreeing with the missus can sometimes be a good idea
other times, it could lead to having your bedroom decorated in pink chintz wallpaper and being forced to go on a visit to the set of emmerdale with a load of tea-cosy-hat-wearing old biddies.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:11, archived)
# Then she utters the words that no man wants to hear...
"My mother's coming to stay for a few days..."
I suppose it's why pubs were invented.
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:16, archived)
# if i ever get married, my husband will never have to suffer that torture
i can't get my mother to visit me now and she only lives half a mile away!
lazy cow.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:18, archived)
# ^This, wife, pfft

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:11, archived)
# i may be female
but all these soft, poncey "new" men sicken me.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:13, archived)
# Quite possible to agree with equality etc
and do emotions without being poncey and vain.
Now if I could find a woman who wasn't sexist...
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:34, archived)
# i hate sexist women
those ones who say "we can do everything that men do!" then expect to have meals and drinks bought for them.
and to have doors held open for them.
double-standard bitches.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:40, archived)
# I would actually buy one of those with real money.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 14:16, archived)