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# Have a self-deprecating, terribly witty and drily ironic comment on art delivered in a self-satisfied, nasal drone:


CFB
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:32, archived)
# Why is it never raining in your pictures?
(I helped save b3ta! Ghostwriter can't pick up his pencil, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:35, archived)
# Because like everyone else I'm inherently racist though I try not to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)
# I knew it!
(I helped save b3ta! Ghostwriter can't pick up his pencil, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:43, archived)
# Racism is a crime.
Are you foreign? Because crime is only for foreigners....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:47, archived)
# This is An Art
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:36, archived)
# "A" art.
It's "A" art, idiot boy.

Merci.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:37, archived)
# Why is it always see through shower curtain in your pictures?
:D this is good, sir.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)
# Dangle shoe horn, madman.
And how is your loveliness today?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:40, archived)
# I'm fine, thanks. Tired, but only in that stretchy, smily way.
How's you, chapshape?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)
# I'm marvellous. It was Mrs A Vagabond's birthday yesterday
So we went to the iMax to see Bladerunner, and it were brill. I'd forgotten exactly how incredibly beautiful the film is.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:48, archived)
# Ohhh you lucky things!
That sounds like an excellent idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:48, archived)
# It blummin is. If you get the chance, sieze it like you would a wrong 'un.
Ace ace ace.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:50, archived)
# Understood, sir *salutes*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:52, archived)
# *Opens umbrella* brill as always AV!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:38, archived)
# Hooray! Cheers your unique steve-ness!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:40, archived)
# It can't rain all the time
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:41, archived)
# It does in my heart...
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:42, archived)
# I'm not racist, but I like this!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:44, archived)
# Hooray!
How's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:55, archived)
# Tricks is fine.

She's asleep at the fireplace right now.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:59, archived)
# FUCK YOU BRIAN SEWELL!
Sorry, natural reaction to art ;)

Woo sir, as ever!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:48, archived)
# Brian bloody Sewell. Art critics in general.
Mr Vagabond Snr is jolly clever - he's a professor and everything. We went to see some Damien Hirst stuff, and V Snr. started talking about one of the fire extinguishers in the corner of the exhibition. Within 10 minutes he had a little crowd listening. You think I talk bollocks? I learned from The Pro.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:57, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
Fucking brilliant :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:01, archived)
# \o/
Woo!

*fetches umbrella and wellies*
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:54, archived)
# Thank you!
How's you?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:58, archived)