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[challenge entry] Sherman Tank

Now I'm off for a Brad Pitt in the smallest room in the house (not the one under the stairs).I had a dodgy Ruby Murray last night and find great need to lay cable and drop a loggers friend. The turtle is getting curious and is about to sign his name.


From the Euphemisms challenge. See all 381 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:15, archived)
# Aylesbury my old daisies.
Are you gonna derek down the rub a dub in your haddock whilst listening to your louis and have a quick sherbet?
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:21, archived)
# Nope...
...I'm a bit Tom, so it's off up the apples to catch 40 and then maybe 'ave a butchers at the net later.
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:22, archived)
# hairy muff
If you're a bit tom have a puff of bob and wash it down with a glass of acker, that'll settle your portable. Dodgy harris as well?
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:25, archived)
# ...
...shat on a turtle...
(martian, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:29, archived)
# ...eating
his curds and whey...
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:30, archived)
# Don't
even go there...'arris is like a black eye pea. It's me dogs that are barking and I've a pomping headache...(kinda like a huge orchestra in the R.A hall...). The days been dragging like a quadraplegics dog and I've had it up to, well...it gets visual from here on in!
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:29, archived)
# cor blimey
wouldn't like to see the state of your Tex Ritter then.

Silvers up, germans down, minces on the albert as me old man used to say.
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:31, archived)
# NURSE!!!
More medication
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:36, archived)
# time for your basket weaving
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:37, archived)
# *cracks knuckles*
And also, is your Dennis a Dan Ackroyd, and does it Phillip and uh.. um.. bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! Couk, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:30, archived)
# Mind you...
...hope I'm better by the weekend...I just bought a (needed, not posing) 4x4. Powerful? It pulls like Justin Timberlake at a catholic girls prep' school disco....
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:32, archived)
# as long as you don't get a bird with face that
looks like a bulldog chewing a toffee

is a good line

And,

How can a (name of girl) be so ugly with only one head?
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:35, archived)
# I prefer
Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:38, archived)
# hahahahahahahahahahahaha
cracking

Looks like she got thumped in the beaver with the blunt end of a JCB
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:41, archived)
# Bungee jumped
from the ugly tree and hit every branch both ways....I mean I wouldn't say she's ugly but..erm...but...Hell she's ugly!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:43, archived)
# or
piss flaps like gene autry saddle-bags
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:44, archived)
# my all time
favourite is 'face like a bag of smashed crabs'
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:52, archived)
# Or
Bulldog chewing a wasp
(allergic to curry, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:43, archived)
# another belter
gusset like a horse's bottom lip
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:44, archived)
# I'm a great fan of
"pissing rusty water from my arse"


as an expression, not the actual act, you understand
(I helped save b3ta! Duncan Disorderly, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:32, archived)
# pebble dash the outhouse
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:46, archived)
# My all time fave...
Couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo.....

(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:47, archived)
# you reminded me of country and western
song titles that are real:

Like:

"How can I say goodbye if you won't go away"
&
"When you leave walk out backwards so it looks like you're coming in"
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:49, archived)
# and my fav
"I love you so much I shit meself"
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:50, archived)
# Sorry
is the hardest word to say.
Bollocks is it...QUANTITATIVE is much harder...
(I helped save b3ta! Ravenblack All the good quotes have gone, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:54, archived)
# I've been lonesome in the saddle
since ma horse died...

/Corries
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 18:56, archived)
# hello me dear
alright?
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 14 Mar 2003, 19:03, archived)