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# 'chucking up chutney'
'on a tuppeny whore'

man, they don't write songs like that anymore
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:24, archived)
# *Lambeth walks*
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:25, archived)
# it's got that ring of cockney musichall certainly :)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:38, archived)
# "Covered my willy in Piccalilli"
"and she was screamin' out for moreOOoooh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..."
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:27, archived)
# "One day as I was walking up Blueberry Hill"
A fair maiden attacked me with Pickle and Dill.
She cried would you do me my fair picillily.
With a hey nonny nonny bibble my willy.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:32, archived)
# AAAAAynnnnnnnnd III sAAAAAAAIIIIYYYDDD
You can't get me hard without Mustard
It just shrivels and wibbles away
my cock wont fetch up with out Ketchup
you'll be pumping flaccid all daaaayyyy

There will be no passion spent
If you don't lather me in condiment
it's the only way to stay content
to be covered in condimeeeeeeent
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:37, archived)
# ok, someone needs to put this to music
and sing with a glorious cock-a-knee accent

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:39, archived)
# where's redsushi when you need him
bah humbug!
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:41, archived)
# Mrs Vagabond and I went to the St Ives music festival.
In one pub we had a drink in, there was an old gal there strumming an equally old guitar, singing in a good, rough ol' blues way, "I said to him I sure like your key, but yer puttin it in the wrong keyhole ... "
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:44, archived)
# maybe he was just channel hopping
:)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:45, archived)
# There'll be no sexual bartar with out tartar
I need it to provide me vip and vim
It'll only be little john without dijon
I would a be a spectacle quite griiiim

You shall be amazed
by the difference made by hollandaise
I'll get the horn, of course,
If you provide the peppercorn sauce

I'll keep you so content
If you lather me in condiiimeeeeeeeennttts
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:46, archived)
# major pfffft at the cock-ketchup line
We should get ourselves a recording contract with material like this..
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:39, archived)
# oooiiiiiiii
...grabbed her by the hand
and ran her down to Putney
And by the river there I showed her my enormous chutney

She fell back in a swoon,
All quivering at my preserving
So I took my chance and offed my pants
and set to working with my gerkin

(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:44, archived)
# *chorus*
BUT SHE WAS FULL OF EELS
SHE WAS FULL OF EELS
TRIED TO HAVE A FEEL
BUT SHE WAS FULL OF EELS
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:46, archived)
# This is flipping Novello winning stuff
:D
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:47, archived)
# we need fucking andrew lloyd webber, stat
he could make this into a full on musical :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:49, archived)
# SEXTCHUP
THE MUSICAL

EDIT: I've booked mark this when my compouter stops being a massive bellended cocksplatter I shall get on to recording this lovely little ditty.

*starts working out chordlings on his ukulele*

:D
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:50, archived)
# You utter star
Give me a shout if you want "Cover artwork" :D
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:54, archived)
# fuck yeah!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:56, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 13:38, archived)