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# Does anyone actually know anyone who has swine flu?
It's all a conspiracy!
*dons tin-foil face-mask*
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)
# Yes
I know someone who had it.

THEY WERE IN MY HOUSE WHILE INFECTED!D:
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)
# REMOVE THE HEAD OR DESTROY THE BRAIN
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:31, archived)
# the bloke at my local shell garage
said he has it and took a week off work
yet he had his windows open in his house and
had just driven around on his motorbike
great quarantine or great bullshit
(I helped save b3ta! FIEND, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:21, archived)
# Yep
Housemates friend and a contact of my dad. I'm just waiting for my turn!
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)
# Actually, no
which has made me frown in the last couple of weeks

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:29, archived)
# Shit
STAY AWAY FROM ME, ALL OF YOU!
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:30, archived)
# My mate Mark said he overheard a Doctor saying you can contract the virus just by glancing at someone
and said there is a more virulent strain where you contract it just by being glanced at by the infected internet

he has since emigrated to Northern Norway
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:36, archived)
# I heard
if you talk to someone who has it over the phone you get ear flu.
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)
# Yep
I heard that as well, Mark also reminded me of the importance of not taking your wooly hat off in the arctic when I received his left ear in the post, which was perfectly preserved for his grandchildren; he just wants me me to apply some make up to the frost bitten bits

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:51, archived)
# No doubt the virus will find him... he can run but he can't hide
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:42, archived)
# Yep.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:32, archived)
# Yep
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Sat 25 Jul 2009, 23:35, archived)
# Yeah
One of the pub regulars stopped appearing because he has it. Nobody else has fallen, so I guess he didn't sneeze.

Big fuss over nothing anyway, it's like the millennium bug "OMG WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" *ca-CHING*
Are we bollocks, it's only a flu.
(Cloudane, Sun 26 Jul 2009, 0:50, archived)