bar jokes, eh.So this string walks into a bar. A truck driver gets close to the string and says 'Give me a twenty and I'll beat up everyone in the bar.' The string shouts 'I'll bet anyone a hundred bucks I can do something nobody in this bar has ever seen before!' The truck driver looks at the string and says 'I know I don't know you, but I'd love to do anything you want, as many times as you want.'
The string says 'What? They sold me a chihuahua?'
(The string says 'What? They sold me a chihuahua?'
discomeats This canoe,
Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:11,
archived)
All right, a dog walks into a bar. A midget gets close to the dog and shouts "Give me a dollar and I'll fly from here to the end of the bar." The dog says "I'll take a Manhattan." The bartender says "See that drunk over there? If you nail your feet to the floor that drunk will do you right here on the bar."
The dog sits down and says "I was talking to the the midget."
(The dog sits down and says "I was talking to the the midget."
discomeats This canoe,
Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:33,
archived)
A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says
(
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:23,
archived)
Okay, so a midget walks into a bar. A Irishman looks at the midget and thinks a minute and says "I know I don't know you, but I'd love to take you into the back room and give you the best sex of your life." The midget says "Can you pull down your pants?" The Irishman gets close to the midget and says "Give me a quarter and I'll grant three wishes to the next person who walks through that door."
The midget sits down and says "I was on the wrong side of the bar, sir!"
(The midget sits down and says "I was on the wrong side of the bar, sir!"
discomeats This canoe,
Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:34,
archived)
LOLWUTString walks into a bar, orders a drink and the bartender says "we don't serve pieces of string here" so he goes out.
Next day the string is determined to be served, so he wears shades doesn't shave, messes his hair up and sidles up to the bar again.
"Aren't you that string I refused yesterday?"
"Nope, frayed knot"
(Next day the string is determined to be served, so he wears shades doesn't shave, messes his hair up and sidles up to the bar again.
"Aren't you that string I refused yesterday?"
"Nope, frayed knot"
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:24,
archived)
All right, a midget walks into a bar. A nun gets close to the midget and says "Give me fifty bucks and I'll recite the Carmina Burana from memory." The midget quickly downs six gin and tonics, one after the other. The bartender says "Hey. Why don't you hold this pencil between your ass cheeks?"
The midget takes a deep breath and yells "Moo."
(The midget takes a deep breath and yells "Moo."
discomeats This canoe,
Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:33,
archived)
A nun, a flamingo, an Englishman, an Irishman, Jesus and a 9 inch pianist go into a barthe comedian in the corner has a nervous breakdown.
( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:41,
archived)