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# TOAST IT SIDEWAYS
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)
# Use a GRILL MOTHER FUCKER!
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)
# ^^^This^^^ hard
The only way to do toast (after an open fire and a toasting fork of course)
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:02, archived)
# open fire and toasting fork
just the way grandad used to make it :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:10, archived)
# you can do cheese on toast if you place the toaster on its side
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)
# No!
Grilled toast isn't proper toast. It goes all dry.

Proper toast is toasted in a toaster. Then left to go cold while stood up, for the full chewy "hotel toast" effect.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)
# ^^^ 'KIN THIS
with lashings of butter, cheese and marmite
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:06, archived)
# 0_0
marmite with red leicester!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:07, archived)
# How do you get your toast to stand up?
I've been using the lean-too method, but I'm thinking about investing in a toast rack.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)
# THANK YOU
cheese* AND marmite, YES, THIS!
edit: or, cheese* and lime pickle

* must be cheddar
(I helped save b3ta! valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)
# RED. LEICESTER.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:12, archived)
# EDAM
best cheese on toast cheese evah!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:17, archived)
# i had mozzarella on toast the other night
very tasty, but goes stringy far too quickly
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:20, archived)
# Cheese And Marmite On Toast
I could quite happily live on this forever...and the occasional pint of Guinness
(Ceasar Flunk can see your house from here, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:39, archived)
# ugh no
toast you have to tear at.

I do like grilled toast that's been left to go cold and crispy though.

the kind that shatters like glass when you try to butter it
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:10, archived)
# You aren't getting your grill hot enough.
Leave it until there's a good chance of fire, then add bread.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)
# i do prefer to grill
but if someone has to use a toaster, sideways toasting ensures an even crispness
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:04, archived)
# take it out half way
and put it back in at 90 degrees
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:11, archived)
# the middle gets burnt
and shatters when you try to butter it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:13, archived)
# Tried that.
It's OK for one slice, but leaves "standing room only" for the other slice.

Bastard toasters. Next time I buy one (and it won't be long - my current Russell Hobbs P.O.S. toaster is about to pack up) I'm going to take a loaf of bread to curry's and insist on a demonstration.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:02, archived)
# Yes! Please please do this :D
And video the resulting looks from the staff.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)
# This is shaping up to be a newsletter question
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:06, archived)
# i insist on this demonstration also!
or you could just buy smaller bread
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:07, archived)
# I can very much recomend those toaster bags for making toasted sandwiches
much easier than an actual sandwich toaster and less likely to kill you with hot cheese
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:13, archived)