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[challenge entry] Surely not?

From the Making Hospitals Dangerous challenge. See all 239 entries (closed)

(hadr0n Craic whore, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:28, archived)
# One for the dipthong-phobes.

Also - TJ - anybody know if there is a successor site to internetisseriousbusiness? It's gone down and I've got a friend who is so in need of a bad rickrolling.

I realise I am asking for it with this request, btw.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:29, archived)
# What IS a dipthong?
I've never been quite able to understand them.

I seem to remember reading a Terry Pratchett joke that played on a word, and the comment was "which, containing two vowels and a dipthong ... " and I really wanted to get it but dint.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:31, archived)
# two vowels strung together into one vowel
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:32, archived)
# Oh like in German
oe and ai and stuff?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:33, archived)
# 'ij' in Dutch
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:36, archived)
# eg:
Doerth Vijder
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:38, archived)
# Well, the 'Vijder' bit works, pronunciation-wise.
The first bit - not so much.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:41, archived)
# poence
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:43, archived)
# What exactly do think 'oe' sounds like?
'Cos I don't think it sounds like what you think it sounds like.

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:47, archived)
# No Dutch vowels sound like they're supposed to sound like. Gaelic, too.
Thur leffing op thor slaaaves it oos.

eg "Dirk Kuyt".

Without BBC help, an entire country of 60-odd million people would still be struggling to get remotely near the proper pronunciation. Who knew? Or even guessed?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:50, archived)
# The one that always gets the tourists is:
't Spui.

No-one ever gets it right. That and 's-Hertogenbosch.

:)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:58, archived)
# The first thing I ever did in a forrin country
was get on a bus.

An old lady moved out of the way of my clumsy backpack. I said "Alstublieft".

She was delighted. No Englishman she'd ever come across had even bothered trying a word of Dutch in her whole life, she said. In perfect English. (Not that I was an angel, though. I was, and remain, a drunk tit)

I still find it hard to comprehend Dutch vowels, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 14:05, archived)
# and welsh
(jflinden wifflewaffle, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 15:08, archived)
# ...as in uitsmijter, the food of the Gods themselves :D
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:39, archived)
# Oh God, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*drools*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:40, archived)
# *arteries harden*
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:43, archived)
# But what a way to go...
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:47, archived)
# I am unfamiliar with this
one moment please while I look it up

... ham and egg sandwich? Ham and Egg sandwich with optional cheese...?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:48, archived)
# Dutch omelette
www.restariadedam.nl/images/uitsmijter.jpg

EDIT actually this is more like it www.party-bar.nl/images/uitsmijter.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:51, archived)
# I'm hungry now
that looks pretty good... despite the strange and rubbish garnish... and what looks like an icecream scoop of tuna mayo
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:53, archived)
# Double Win!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:53, archived)
# Oh, it's soooo much more than that.
www.eetenijssalonmenzing.nl/pictures/uitsmijter.jpg

Edit: And the cheese is *not* optional, in any civilised eatery.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:53, archived)
# right
I'm off to learn things about stuff and lipids.

I will bit you all a fond good weekend and try and be back soon.

TTFN
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:55, archived)
# Mum!
He bit me!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:58, archived)
# You can learn a lot about lipids from a good uitsmijter.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:58, archived)
# Is that cooked in a Dutch Oven?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 14:01, archived)
# not quite
it's the difference in pronunciation between the oo in "coordinate" and in "chicken coop". most languages have distinct symbols for those sounds. umlaut is a shift in vowel sound which in german is denoted by putting an e after the vowel (which migrated on top of the letter and became two dots) -- we've still got a few examples of umlaut in english, too: "man" and "men", "woman" and "women" (two of them there, only one written), "goose" and "geese", "foot" and "feet", that kind of thing.

we used to make it clear when things were a diphthong and when they were distinct vowels by putting two dots above the second vowel, as in coördinate, which you'll see in some (very) old physics textbooks. the french still do that in some words. we probably stopped because our education system is fucking gash and has been for at least 55 years now, and doesn't teach any grammar because the poor little darlings might get bored. and so everyone associates two dots with umlaut -- even though it's definitely not -- and avoids it because obviously anything slightly german is RACIST.

yeah!

/rant over :D



edit: for the cataclysmicly interested:

a) get a life -- i clearly don't have one, and it's not much fun
b) we still use the dots in one word. lord knows why it survived when it died everywhere else, but it did. that's why naïve has those two dots on top of the i. it's not an umlaut, it's to avoid people pronouncing it as "nave" or "nive". of course, it doesn't work and people pronounce it as "nave" or "nive" anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:38, archived)
# I'm racist and not remotely German
EXPLAIN THAT YOU FUCKING GYPO
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Not every racist is German
But every German is racist.

No, wait, is that the wrong way round?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:41, archived)
# I didn't mean racist
i meant sexually insecure
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:44, archived)
# not every german is a sexual master
but all sexual masters are aryan
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:45, archived)
# Hahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 14:01, archived)
# I learnt to read using an initial teaching alphabet with joined vowels.
/70's experiment child
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Fri 26 Feb 2010, 14:05, archived)
# It's where the two vowel sounds are pronounced as one, and typically written close together as in his first "oe"
...as opposed to an umlaut, which separates the two sounds.

God it's hard work trying to explain phonetic properties on a text forum :/
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:33, archived)
# Hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:34, archived)
# One of these:
æ
(hadr0n Craic whore, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:38, archived)
# "Diphthong," spaz.
Don't you know nuffink?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:32, archived)
# Yah yah...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:34, archived)
# "Yes", spaz.
Don't you know nuffink?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:37, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/9936344
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Causal Loop Alert!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:42, archived)
# oh god it's the lhc come to kill us all
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:43, archived)
# if you get one of these you can use it to go back in time
and stop yourself from getting one

www.martinjetpack.com/video-gallery.aspx
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:46, archived)
# oh god yeah
ROCK ON

www.martinjetpack.com/media/2754/_martinjetpack006.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:49, archived)
# you started it
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:45, archived)
# rick rolling's gay
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 13:58, archived)
# Well, yeah, of course.
Doesn't mean it can't sometimes be fun.

Rickrolling I mean not being gay. Not that I've got anything against... Some of my best friends...

Er...

*slopes off*
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 14:01, archived)
# RACIST
*slopes out*
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 14:06, archived)
# I'LL CUT YOU
*slops out*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 14:10, archived)