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#
I never knew my dad.
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:00, archived)
# let it out son
we are here for you
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:01, archived)
#
He went to war many years ago and was killed by an evil man named Darth Vader.
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:02, archived)
# we hear so much of this these days
you are not alone.
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:03, archived)
# I fucked your dad's rotting corpse in the face!
I'm sure he still loved it as my man-much dribbled out the hole's in his head
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:56, archived)
# consider yourself lucky
he could have abused you and your mum throughout your life.
It also provides an exciting sense of mystery to your life.

Be nice to people here and play by the same rules we do and we could all be your dad, providing an overwhelming sense of joy and closure to your troubles.
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:02, archived)
# you are listening to the Advice Hour, here on B3ta.FM
coming up later - the results of the DNA tests. We discover how many b3tans really are human
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:05, archived)
# I know at least one that is
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:06, archived)
# ooh get you with your genes all lined up into chromosomes!
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:07, archived)
# Is it Redmond?
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:08, archived)
#
Or is it Memorex?
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:13, archived)
# hmmm
this response puts you in your mid to late thirties.

Now where were you on the night of the 23rd?
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:14, archived)
# At least he's probably still alive
unlike mine, you insensitive wanker
(, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:03, archived)