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Jesus was an... early 20th century comedian!!!

(

andy206, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:59, archived)

this looks just the ticket

for cutdown flash movie making and vv cheap $49 + 100% cash back rebate and free hosting. Has anyone tried it out - does it do the job?
www.netgui.com/products/sms.html

(

automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:48, archived)

How did you

get in there?

(

Ted, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:48, archived)

one too many tequillas...

I fell asleep and when I woke up I'd been sealed into a small plastic packet. I like the fact they said I'm yum though. They'd obviously seen the Paul Merton picture.

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:51, archived)

I went

to see the Jim Rose Circus in Edinburgh years ago and they used an industrial vaccuum cleaner to seal a female sumo wrestler into a small plastic bag...Ahh you don't get quality entertainment like that any more.

(

Ted, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:07, archived)

Apart

from all the wonderful entertainment from you wonderful people here on B3TA!

(

Ted, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:26, archived)

bless you little teddy bear

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:55, archived)

Mr Tony Hart,

If you don't reply then you've ruined my Christmas.
How big are you writing your response?

lub Monkeon

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:36, archived)

Scary Sheep

Accusing other people of being lizards is just a smokescreen to hide his own dark secret...

(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:34, archived)

FUCK!!

I've only just noticed that's me holding the sheep's head!!
I reckon I make quite a good looking bloke - I like my big strong arms. Well, I look handsome compared to my colleague anyway

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:43, archived)

You look like

a gay Paul Merton

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:46, archived)

Oh thank you - very good

I like Paul Merton. He'd be one of my fantasy dinner party guests.
Then again, I dunno if I want to look like him

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:49, archived)

I'm starting to get the hang of the photoshopping lark!

Shame i do all my pics in fireworks tho...

I'm surprised no-ones done this yet...

This one was pretty predictable dontcha think?

(

andy206, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:34, archived)

ha ha ha

that made me laugh out loud. fantastic stuff.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:48, archived)

glad you like it...

what made u laugh tho? the pics or the fact that i use fireworks? ;o)

(

andy206, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:56, archived)

it was the king of the jews gag

that i really liked. great mental image. I could just imagine him being dead excited about it, rather than calm and son-of-goddy, which is how i usually think of him.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:03, archived)

made me laugh out loud too

and for the same reasons.

(

rob, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:06, archived)

Wangolini......

Have you seen Esteban's photo album page of Friday?

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:32, archived)

a fuck

of an improvement really! Yeah i saw the pix, downloaded em too. hmmm theres a thought...

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:34, archived)

oh!!

I've only just seen your picture of Andrea Corr further down the page...very good.

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:38, archived)

I didn't know Thom Yorke was there.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 9:54, archived)

How Johns are born...

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:21, archived)

Very big sheep

So big it needs someone to prop it up in the middle

(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:52, archived)

that is a huge

sheep - it looks mean and violent.

(Esteban, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:00, archived)

Prime Advertising space!!

http://www.nonemorenegative.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/advertising.jpg (changed to link - as Rob works in an office with his monitor viewable by everyone)

-=NMN=-

(NoneMoreNegative, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:49, archived)

she has

the most beautiful feet.

(Esteban, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:52, archived)

these are stunning

feet

(Esteban, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:55, archived)

OY!

You leave my mum out of this...

(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:58, archived)

Oops...

Apologies ;)

-=NMN=-

(NoneMoreNegative, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:05, archived)

what a great plan

where can we sponsor fat people? i reckon we should sponsor lots of fat people. are there any fat people reading this who'd like us to sponsor them? i think we might have to pay them in photoshopped jesuses though.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:51, archived)

my mate

is going on a fat diet - you could sponsor him. I am sure he would not mind, he is spending a fortune on food at the moment. He is eating about 6 meals a day.

(Esteban, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:27, archived)

this banner add is odd - dunno why

(

rob, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:45, archived)

Perhaps

they're conjoined below the waist?

(Ernest Thesiger, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:47, archived)

This is might be a clue

The future's bright if you're one of their mates

(

mrbrong, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:51, archived)

I think I've managed to scare myself doing this

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:38, archived)

Now

that's much more pleasing to the eye.

(Ernest Thesiger, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:40, archived)

why does

'Birds of a feather' spring to mind?

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:42, archived)

thank you so much!!!

You are too kind...I've gone up in the world - the last person I got told I look like was Ricky Lake...from that to birds of a feather

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:50, archived)

ermmm

it was more the hair really, (grovel grovel)

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:06, archived)

Well I'll let you off then!!

Right. 5 minutes left of lunch. I'm gonna photoshop you

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:10, archived)

shit, i forgot

youve got all those criminal pix from friday, howdit go after i left by de way?

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:14, archived)

Well, we missed you joining in the rest of the

day for a start...and after that it got er, well just more and more book of madness really. Eyes and mouths from magazine pictures on everything. we were there till about 8.30 then a few of us went drinking in Old Street. Got quite drunk!

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:28, archived)

cool

Again!,Again!

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:33, archived)

again again as in another drinking sesh?

I was up for doing it again this Friday, cos it's my last day's holiday this year, but I don't think anyone else is up for it, or can't bunk off. Any suggestions?

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:35, archived)

b3ta trip to Brighton?

beer & parcel tape by the sea

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:40, archived)

yay!! that sounds good

when? by the way I'm not ignoring you if I don't answer for a while cos I've gotta go and phone a couple of people.
I'm off work tomorrow, Friday, Saturday & Sunday...

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:47, archived)

sat or sun good for me

Any takers?

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:51, archived)

Hooray!

my very own face monkey! it's a dream come true. thankyou nacho. i'm def up for another boozey thing, though it looks like i might have to work pretty hard for the rest of this week to avoid doing stuff over christmas.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:54, archived)

Well, I'll be

getting trashed on saturday- my bro's getting back to the country for xmas. If anyone wants to join me, I'll be in the pub in hackney most likely

(

crab_bloke), Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:56, archived)

I'm up for it

if I'm invited. If there's booze involved I like to be there...

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:08, archived)

by all means nacho

there's no firm plan, and nor is there likely to be till saturday, but i would have thought i'll be in the pub. woo!

(

crab_bloke), Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:51, archived)

I've just emailed David Icke

asking for an interview.

(

rob, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:06, archived)

how

did you get his email address?
Are you a friend to the rich,famous and slightly eccentric?

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:13, archived)

Just from his site

under a thing that said "contact for press interviews."

(

rob, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:18, archived)

Cunning.

You're a cunning bugger :)

(

blah, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:43, archived)

excellent

david icke is one of my fave celebrity nutters. does he celebrate christmas? or is jesus a lizard too?

(

crab_bloke), Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:58, archived)

Are you going

to ask him about his slightly bizarre theory about the world being run by Vampire lizards

(Having said that it sounds good to me!)

(

Ted, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:06, archived)

Dont F*ck Wit Santa - He Ain't Too Tired To Bust A Cap In Yo Ass

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/011218/80/cm1a0.html

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:02, archived)

Obviously

He's sick of the threats of Coal going unheeded...

-=NMN=-

(NoneMoreNegative, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:05, archived)

Someone just sent this to me...

I don't like it.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:00, archived)

blimey

disturbing...

(

AndyK, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:06, archived)

Isn't that one on the left

the Keymaster from Ghostbusters?

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:12, archived)

The one on

the right, isnt that Bastardizor?

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:18, archived)

The one on the right...

...Is surely Stephen Hendry unless I'm very much mistaken!

(Frankie, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:19, archived)

stephen hendry

Impossible: no pimples - it is matthew broderick

(BïF, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:32, archived)

meets

steve guttenberg. what the hell happened to him. he disappeared down the same hole as molly ringwald and all the megadrives.

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:35, archived)

Is that what Bastardizor looks like?

Right, my date with him is back on. mmmmmm

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:26, archived)

Can I

have a date too Nacho?

(it is Xmas...)

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:30, archived)

No,

but help yrself to the figs in the kitchen cupboard.

(Ernest Thesiger, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:38, archived)

aah

very good. Your on the samewavelength as me when I sent Bastardizor this picture of our date..

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:47, archived)

Go on...

I look like a gay 80's rock god too (in a good light)

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:40, archived)

But but but

I thought Ozzy was a married man!

(Ernest Thesiger, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:43, archived)

I don't get this Ozzy thing

Can someone tell me what the connection is?
Booze?
Long-ish hair?
TELL ME

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:48, archived)

Nuff said

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:53, archived)

but I've never even been to Birmingham

I haven't weed up the side of the Alimo, and I don't have the shakes on a permanent basis.
Right I'm going on an Ozzy Ozbourne photo hunt to check this out.

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:56, archived)

Like this?

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:01, archived)

Like this?

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:07, archived)

yeah thats ozzy

the other was rob halford, in response to Magog saying he looked like a gay 80s rock idol. See you n Ozzy. Brothers.

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:18, archived)

and you look like....?

I WANT A PHOTO!!

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:33, archived)

he looks like this

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:38, archived)

so you look like

Chris Eubank then?

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:41, archived)

thats right

yep thats exactly what i look like.

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 7:44, archived)

Just

got meself a Judas Priest live vidayo from '82, from the indoor market. "Pounding the wo-orld like a battering ram..."

(Ernest Thesiger, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:09, archived)

Deliverin' The Goods

Indeed

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:16, archived)

blimey!

I've gone all shy now. But when there's mistletoe involved...

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:45, archived)

bring it on

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:48, archived)

More like

'Bring it up'...

(Ernest Thesiger, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:53, archived)

soapie elan boxtop

wakes up bright and cheery at 9am ready for makeup

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 5:53, archived)

she's beautiful

I bet Andrea Corr is jealous that she doesn't look that stunning first thing in the morning.

(Nacho, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:05, archived)

andrea has her own special beauty regime

(

wangolini, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:26, archived)

The night before,

she'd had 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 bottles of gin.

(Ernest Thesiger, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:32, archived)

jesus ugly twin ffs again bollox

(dogsknob007, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 5:41, archived)

have you renamed the image

file to .txt on Geocities?

(

AndyK, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 5:42, archived)

A random site

http://squirming.net/ , includes the inspired evil criminal test.

(

EvilHippo, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 5:35, archived)

Cool, I got :

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 5:56, archived)

flowery_t

I'd be..

Which Evil Criminal are You?

(flowery_t, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:53, archived)

For some reason, I'd be...

And I don't even collect shoes...

(

man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 8:23, archived)

this is a rock.

rock 1-2222

(

dogsbollocks, Mon 19 May 2003, 17:35, archived)

YOU ARE

ALL BLASPHEEMUS AND SHALL NEVRE ENTRE THE TROOE KINGDOMM OF HEVVEN. REPENT TO OUR LORD BEFOUR YOU BURN IN HELL FOR YOUR SINS.

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 5:32, archived)

David Icke comment

David Icke is one of the few people in the world who speaks truth..have you actually looked into any of his work the reptile thing is a touch too far for me but if you beleive the present situation was an accident then think again New world order is on it's way as planned

(lu, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:04, archived)

David Icke comment

(loopy lu, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:12, archived)

He was

goalkeeper for Leicester city too.

What a guy.

(twelveways, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:16, archived)

Magog

You have no idea do you?

(Lu-Old, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:28, archived)

The man

deserves a medal he has a massive stamp collection and does a lot of work for 'Quakers Against Rap'

(Man In A Suitcase, Wed 19 Dec 2001, 6:31, archived)

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