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This is a link post I wrote a book! And then printed far too many copies. I made this!
I have a drinking problem.

And the problem is that whenever I get drunk, I want to play a game which I call Bad Decisions.

In the game, you ask the other players questions about moral dilemmas, and then predict their answers. Those who predict correctly, get a point. It seems like harmless fun. Right? Dead wrong.

It’s all fun and games as long as you’re in the pub with your mates. You’ve got people looking out for you. People who care. People who pull you back if you get too close to the edge.

But when lockdown came, things got more intense. I got obsessed. I started playing over zoom calls with friends; then with friends of friends, then later on, with strangers. And I wasn't long before I was texting my mum at 2am to see if she would divorce Dad if he admitted he was a robot, or desperately asking my colleagues if they would assassinate a five-year-old Hitler. When things got really bad, I started asking Siri what she would do if a dying man asked her to pray for him: even if the dying man would never find out if she did it or not.

I ended up writing 320+ questions into a book (books are cheaper to print than cards) as well as eight yes/no cards for answering and making predictions, and put the whole thing together into a beautiful package which is in Spanish and English - and also, it’s illustrated.

It's out of me now. I am free. And while I will always be addicted, I have found a modicum of peace.

Chapters include:

Sex and death
Shakira
Money
The Forbidden Question
All ages
Unlikely Situations
etc.

I made 400 copies (spent about €3000, printing locally) and now I am selling them. I still have about 300 left, which is embarrassing.

Anyway, please buy my book at malas-decisiones.com and use the discount code B3TAN to get €5 off. UK orders are posted from Derbyshire and Spanish orders are posted from my home in sunny Spain. It would make a great gift for a friend or a lover, or a terrible gift for your grandparents.

language | malas decisiones


 (teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 14:05, Reply)
This is a normal post The game ends after three rounds or after the first major argument.
tres bon!
 (GforGermany looks like some sort of retaining plunger, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 14:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Thanks- now let's quickly play
This question is for you. I will predict your answer.

Shakira appears before your eyes and offers you a mysterious envelope, inside which is a piece of paper with the time and date that you will die. Do you open it?

My prediction is YES you will. Do I get a point?
 (teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 16:16, Reply)
This is a normal post What is a shakira?

(GforGermany looks like some sort of retaining plunger, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 23:09, Reply)
This is a normal post She's part woman
Part mystical being from another planet. Her hips always speak the truth.







I find her sexy.
 (teeeth, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 9:08, Reply)
This is a normal post Not to be confused with 2000AD's Shakara.

(I helped save b3ta! brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 14:23, Reply)
This is a normal post Hello

(I helped save b3ta! buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 15:32, Reply)
This is a normal post Hello
And now, let me ask you a question.

You, a taxi driver, are driving home late a night when you see a girl who you estimate is around 20. She tells you she doesn't have any money, but desperately needs a lift home. Do you let her ride for free?

My prediction is that YES you would, because you are either a genuinely nice person, or a pervert.
 (teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 16:18, Reply)
This is a normal post Fuck Off
Spammer
 (I helped save b3ta! buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 17:47, Reply)
This is a normal post Are you angry because I was right?
I have tried to get in touch with rob to actually advertise on here several times and give him some cash. But he never responded so, yes, I am spamming. Buy my book you bellend.
 (teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 18:10, Reply)
This is a normal post I don't think he is angry
I just get the impression he thinks you are a spammer, and wants you to fuck off.

It's a common retort that is said to spammers round these parts.
 (I helped save b3ta! My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 1:21, Reply)
This is a normal post I've been reading b3ta since secondary school and
This board is literally the only place I've posted this message. So if I am a spammer I guess I am a pretty shit one!
 (teeeth, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 9:02, Reply)
This is a normal post I can confirm this.
This is the first link I think I've seen you spam, which is a pretty poor record for a spammer.
 (I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 3 Dec 2020, 10:15, Reply)
This is a normal post Well that is not my call to make
although you did just state you were spamming in the post I replied to.

Anyway, I am not calling anyone anything, just saying I felt it was more a dismissal than an expression of anger
 (I helped save b3ta! My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 14:28, Reply)
This is a normal post He might have just posted it because of tradition.
Someone new comes along and gets called a cunt, just to soften them up a bit.
 (eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 18:16, Reply)
This is a normal post ^

(I helped save b3ta! Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 19:29, Reply)
This is a normal post It doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical

(I helped save b3ta! Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 17:51, Reply)
This is a normal post buynowbuynowbuynow
Theoretically, if I said I might buy one due to being drunk in charge of a keyboard on a midweek evening, why would the online shop tell me (when I give a UK address) that the only shipping option was €4.00 to "Europe (except Spain and UK)" and then offer to charge me that, so that the net price of the product including €5 b3ta discount is only €1 lower than the headline price?

Perhaps you could offer a greater b3ta discount to alleviate the pain of the high initial 'arbitrary price' for the goods and the intransigence of the order collection engine. Unfortunately by the time you take a look at it I will have sobered up and the current high price will appear too much to bear, even as an amusing gift for 'friend or lover or grandparent'. I suggest doubling the b3ta discount and perhaps the community here will help you shift your unwanted stock.
 (bowlhead2000 :also available at, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 19:18, Reply)
This is a normal post oh shit
That is a mistake. I have just updated the system so that UK shipping is now €2. Thanks so much for spotting that, drunken stranger.

(Actually, the cheapest way to buy the book is to paypal 15 quid to [email protected]. We cut out the middle man).

How do you know if you can trust me? Well, I'm actually one of the most trustworthy people I know. So it's not a problem.
 (teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 19:45, Reply)
This is a normal post 1:100
I've got one. Not played it yet, but it's a lovely piece of work. Really amazing quality.

A++ would recommend.
 (I helped save b3ta! Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 22:36, Reply)
This is a normal post You've warmed my heartstrings!
I made sure it was f****** excellent quality- printed it locally, visited the press, went for the munken ivory recycled paper and the soft-touch hard-back cover etc etc. So it's lovely to hear that you're happy with it.
 (teeeth, Wed 2 Dec 2020, 23:18, Reply)
This is a normal post Canny.
Nearly bought the previous time you posted. Last night I was drunk enough to be tipped over the edge. Cheers!
 (I helped save b3ta! GillianT's_Pet_Trombone, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 11:23, Reply)
This is a normal post Great!
People are always on about the downsides of drinking. But what about the upside??
 (teeeth, Thu 3 Dec 2020, 11:34, Reply)