Simply horrendous management-speak
Surely it takes much longer to write this kind of tosh than just to say what is really happening.
(, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 9:27, Reply)
Synergy related headcount restructuring
I'll restructure *their* synergies, the miserable, shite-talking numptyheads.
What's wrong with plain English? Gnnnnn!
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LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 9:30,
Reply)
pfft
sounds like they are just sacking people
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:32,
Reply)
Wow that is awesome
I'm a civil servant and even I've not come across anything that bad! Anyone who uses the word "synergy" surely deserves a good kicking.
You seem to have just justified the existence of management consultants. It takes longer to write in this style, therefore more management consultants are needed. QED.
edit: "Headcount restructuring" reminds me of when Lisa Simpson became president and introduced a refund adjustment, not a massive tax hike.
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 9:33,
Reply)
I'm fed up
I hate my colleagues. Actually you're a computery type, you might be able to help me, I'm applying for a new job and it involves using Morello, have you heard of it? I think it might be a DTP thing?
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:06,
Reply)
I have heard of it
but don't know much about it at all. I think its to do with web content but I could well be wrong with that. Not my area I'm afraid :(
I have discovered some fantastic news though
www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/oct/23/laser-wood-mdf
Imagine the possibilities!
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Fetid Mimsy Bouncing Back!, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:17,
Reply)
Yeeeeeeeeess........
wood that looks like wood?
Anyways- *opens it up to the floor*- anyone know anything about Morello? There must be someone!
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:29,
Reply)
But the fretwork!
it could be out of this world.
Is this the Morello you seek?
www.hellomorello.com/product/
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Fetid Mimsy Bouncing Back!, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:53,
Reply)
Of course! I forgot about your affinity with MDF.
Yes that looks like the right thing, but I can't view it at work. I'll have a look tonight.
I'm having a nice cup of tea and two Jaffa Cake bars
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 11:00,
Reply)
Jaffa!!
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=EZnsOZsA7_4
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Fetid Mimsy Bouncing Back!, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 11:16,
Reply)
Have you ever spoken to a real person?
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 11:12,
Reply)
I've only had someone try to sell it to me, but...
it's a Web CMS (Content Management System). It shouldn't matter much if you've never used it because no two installations are alike as it tends to get customized for the task at hand. If you can say you've had experience with other CMSes or show familiarity with web publishing then you shouldn't have a problem.
(, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 13:15, Reply)
"...they expected the merger to result in a headcount adjustment in the range of 10-15 percent of the global workforce"
...just means sacking a whole load of people doesn't it?
I don't get why business use these stupid euphemisms - it just makes them look like mealy-mouthed cowards.
(
chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 9:54,
Reply)
a work colleague e-mailed me a few weeks back offering to touch base with me regarding a customer order.
i almost walked to his office and smacked him. the fucking poof.
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Just Flange, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 9:57,
Reply)