
A friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.
( , Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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and regularly get sent things for free on the off chance that I will mention them in my column.
The best freebie so far is a Yamaha KX7556 flying motorbike complete with airbags and pop-out wings. I wrapped it around a tree within minutes of collecting it.
I probably should have had a licence.
( , Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:57, 12 replies)

Any vacancies? (Please let it be The Times; I read its ethicist column with catastrophilic horror and reckon I could do much better...)
( , Thu 8 Nov 2007, 15:07, closed)

shame about the details. (Come on, even bullshit needs at least some base in reality)
a "KX7556" would (I'm guessing) have a 7.5 litre engine. That's bigger than most Ferrari's and Lamborghini's. Bigger, I think, than an F1 car.
Did it have pop-out wings & fly too?
( , Thu 8 Nov 2007, 16:03, closed)

Indeed there is no such bike, KX is a kawasaki motocross designation, 7556 is more than three times the engine size of the large production bike...
Right about the Airbag though, Honda GL1800-7 Goldwing has one, its a big tourer with screen etc. airbag stops you cracking your head on the dash/screen (surprisingly high), but thats the only bike with one... and yes! i do work for Honda.
( , Thu 8 Nov 2007, 17:24, closed)

Are you James Bond?
Obligatory 'yay first post' line.
( , Thu 8 Nov 2007, 20:04, closed)

she is quite obviously taking the piss motorbike geeks!! it's a fucking flying motorbike!!!
your arses are cock-ovens! fucking schlong-bakers!!!!
( , Thu 8 Nov 2007, 22:04, closed)

the 'flying' bit and 'pop out wings' were added by Grundig after the above comments were made, obviously in a vain attempt to not look like a complete fibber.
And that makes you the cunt, I'm afraid!
( , Fri 9 Nov 2007, 12:50, closed)

You po-faced donkey-knobbler.
( , Mon 12 Nov 2007, 13:16, closed)

I am (and feel like) a cunt and it's MY arse that bakes cocks!! sorry 'bout that, i was taken in by a fib.
( , Mon 12 Nov 2007, 20:39, closed)

That your edit gave reference to my pop-out-wings and flight jibe.
On second thoughts though, I may have been a bit harsh. Sorry 'bout that.
( , Tue 13 Nov 2007, 8:54, closed)
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