Hotel Rooms! Gullible Hosts! Excess! World Cup Glory!
Some time ago my girlfriend worked in a responsible position for a major food company. Various sales people would give her small gifts to promote their products and naturally a huge amount of this stuff found its way to our house although you can run out of room for Simpsons merchandise and chocolate after a few months.

One chap, Paul, was desperate to sell her stuff, and invited her (plus one) to a weekend supplier jolly and charity dinner. This sounded good so I was straight down Moss Bros to rent a tux and prepare.

We got to London and found our way to The Royal Lancaster, overlooking Hyde Park, (and the geekier amongst you will recognise it as the hotel featured in The Italian Job) and were escorted to a £400 a night room. We were staying for two nights. We met our host downstairs, later, who said that we were more than welcome to enjoy ourselves, but as his company was paying and he was responsible, please guys, please, don't get carried away and irresponsible.

Within an hour I'd emptied the minibar. We ate the overpriced food, stashed the overpriced soft drinks and poured the booze down our throats. Then, just for the fun of it, we called roomservice, who were also pricey, and asked them to restock the minibar. What followed was a real weekend of excess. We went, that evening, to a very good restaurant in Camden (Cafe Soleil, I think), where booze was laidon, as was a 4 course meal. It was ace, I got tanked, and drank very pricey cocktails until unable to walk. I remember some ill judged comments about someone pissing himself, and a tirade about obesity (our host weighed twenty stone and sweated freely).

This carried on, accompanied by belly dancers, until the early hours whence we repaired to the hotel. And carried on getting pissed. Bottles of beer at £4.50 a pop were brought in threes, baileys and whisky drunk by the bottle, and then a fight broke out about the 2002 Rugby World Cup (with the final being played a couple of days hence). I'm told I was called a whinging pom and responded with a tirade about convicts. Then all hell broke loose.

So I left the mayhem behind me, went to bed and re-emptied the minibar.

Saturday dawned, and with it came a hangover and hunger. So we ordered room service (this is a theme). We had the minibar restocked and went into it ravenously, and spent a significant sum on breakfast. To be honest, we spent the whole day on the booze, ordering drinks left, right and centre, and having two room service meals. We wanted to make the most of it!

Then the banquet... 9 courses of deliciousness, accompanied by enough wine to submerge Wales. Again, it carried on until the small hours, and finished with a bacon sandwich feast.

Bedtime came, the minibar was emptied again, and sleep took us.

The following morning I was feeling seedy, but the world cup final was on, so I heroically pulled myself upwards, went to the fridge, and got stuck in as my girlfriend slumbered beside me. As Jonny Wilkinson's kick gave us victory I felt compelled to celebrate, and orderd a breakfast for the pair of us at £90 quid, and accompanied it with a couple of bottles of champagne.

As we left, we were hungover (and pissed), slightly swollen, and staggering under the weight of hotel branded stuff.

We worked out that we spent approx £2300 of someone else's money.

Best. Weekend. Ever.

*I have been informed this was actually in 2003, not 2002. Just goes to show how good the weekend was!*
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 8 Nov 2007, 16:22, 4 replies)

Blimey!
I salute you sir!

I'd be dead after all that!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 16:46, closed)

Pedant alert time
2002 Rugby World Cup? Bastards. No-one told us, its the only way the welsh can win.
*Maybe try 2003, and drink less*

*clicks*
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 23:53, closed)

It was such a wonderful weekend
I completely forgot what year it was.

*resolves to buy diary to prevent future confusion*
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 9 Nov 2007, 8:59, closed)

Excellent
You win for sheer wasted-ness.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 11 Nov 2007, 17:05, closed)