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This is a question Abusing freebies

A friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.

(, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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Penny tray
The texaco station down the road has a little penny tray on the counter. The other day after filling up, I found I was 2pence short (£30.02 - hair trigger on the pump) so it came in handy.

Later that night, it got me thinking. I really want a new ipod but am feeling a little skint. I needed to take the penny tray to the next logical step.

So a few weeks later I filled up as usual and went to pay. I paid back the original 2p i had taken from the spare change in my pocket. Then, without warning, I jumped the counter and forced the clerk down to the ground quite violently with the end of my gun. After some fairly nasty whacks to the back of his head, he was ready to co-operate. The gun firmly jammed into the back of his neck he opened the till drawer and I took the lot. One last *thwack* and he seemed to pass out. I grabbed the video out of the cctv recorder, filled my pockets wtih marlboro gold and calmly exited via the staff door. I only then noticed the little old lady in the corner cowering with fright. I remembered the gun and shot her in the chest.

I drove home elated! I couldnt wait to count it. Imagine my result when i had over 2 grand! Enough for about 8 160GB ipods.

The moral of this is, if youre going to abuse freebies, fucking abuse them, dont fuck about with extra sausage rolls, armed robbery is where its at. It feels fuckin great as well!
(, Sun 11 Nov 2007, 23:59, 5 replies)
oh my god this cracked me up! gold.
(, Mon 12 Nov 2007, 7:50, closed)
hahaha, made me do a grin
Nout wrong with a bit of granny bashing either :D
(, Mon 12 Nov 2007, 9:58, closed)
Marlboro Gold!
A real man would have taken Reds.
(, Mon 12 Nov 2007, 10:23, closed)
I reckon there's more money and less risk in fraud though
(, Mon 12 Nov 2007, 14:34, closed)
I'd have spent that 2 grand on extra sausage rolls anyway
I like sausage rolls.
(, Mon 12 Nov 2007, 15:28, closed)

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