One thing that really bugs me is the use of bollocks "science-y" language in shampoo adverts aimed at women.
It's the most patronising, insulting bollocks ever.

"Now with added smoothium and enhanced reflectons to give you shine!"

"Increases colour by up to nine times!"

They know it's bollocks, all but the most fuck-witted under-educated, stupid women know it's bollocks, and it's frankly offensive.

It's basically a modern way of saying "Don't you worry your pretty little head about the science of it - we know you like to, so we'll pander to it, but we know you don't really know what any of it's about anyway, and anyway, shouldn't you be getting yourself ready to look nice for men?"

Grrr.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 9:43, 11 replies)

BINGO!
I just finished a sermon on this topic on an earlier post about 23-year-old models selling "Anti-Aging" creams made out of junkies' plasma donations...
(AnntichristSCoulter, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 9:45, closed)

I have the same reaction to most ads aimed at women.
Weight-Watchers ads in partiular send me into a frothing rage with all the "All women can't wait to lose some wait and show some skin for the men, because thats the only way they can feel fulfilled" bullshit. Its manipulative, controlling shit that tries to tell woman that they're in control and free, but the most important thing is that you're pretty or men won't like you. Wank, all of it. And the psudo-science just makes it worse.

Does this mean I'm gay?
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 9:48, closed)

Jennifer Anniston
One of the worst offenders was a few years ago (probably more) when Jennifer Anniston did one. Halfway through she looks at the camera, rolls her eyes and says "now, here's the science". That was insult added to injury as the implication was that she didn't want that rubbish in the ad and neither did the shampoo company but that they had to indulge the scientists.

Is anyone here a shampoo scientist? Do you curl up in shame everytime you see one of these bits of rubbish?
(BearWithLittleBrain, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:14, closed)

I'm not a scientist, but
I used to be a lorry driver, and I used to deliver regularly to the Lancôme factory a few years ago.

The shampoos, foam baths and so on were stored in rows of 1m³ vats, all slimy and leaky and smelling overpoweringly of perfume. They decant the stuff 200ml at a time into a bottle with a fancy label and flog it for 4 quid a go.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:39, closed)

Blistex
Did this too. It was just a big, disembodied, talking gob yapping away about camphor etc, then the closing line was:

'...and this? The only science lesson you've ever *really* paid attention to.'

Fuck the fuckity fuck off, Blistex. Do you not sell your lipbalm to female doctors, pathologists, engineers etc then?

Oh and yesterday, I saw one for a fake tan with a new 'pro-dispersal mechanism.' We used to call those spray cans, I'm sure.
(dancebiscuits, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:27, closed)

Are there any biochemists around who can confirm that pro-vitamins only work if they're ingested? What the fuck are they doing in shampoo?
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:38, closed)

When it's my turn to buy shampoo and conditioner, I get Sainsbury's own for 64p a litre
when the missus buys shampoo and conditioner it's like £3 for 250ml and it comes in a bottle emblazoned with words like "anti-frizz" and "polypeptoneurides"
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:38, closed)

Am female
and completely agree!

I am constantly amazed by how many bottle women have in their bathrooms - shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, moisturiser - what else does anyone need??????

*doesn't want to feel worth it*
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 11:19, closed)

We're worth more!
Than lies and made up words. Hehe.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:04, closed)

It's a load of toss.
I use Super Drug's Jojoba shampoo and it only costs about 60p. I smell ace and my hair is lovely. No nonsense, no "science", no faffing about with a million bottles of rubbish. =D
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:03, closed)

L'Oreal Kids shampoo
works wonders on my curly hair. Gets the knots and smells delicious.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 16:19, closed)