Bimbo and the bowl.
This story concerns two friends of my parents; Nick and Jill.

Nick is a good humoured guy of great patience. Jill is extremely houseproud and tends to get uptight about things like interior decoration. They live in a large Victorian sandstone house that they have renovated over the last two decades.

They had a cat called Bimbo. Bimbo was a lovely cat; a ginger female that had been brought up with their two children, and had never posed any problems.

Then they redid their kitchen. Black tiles; granite surfaces; anything that could be lifted had to be chrome. To accommodate Bimbo, they installed a catflap that was activated by a magnet on her collar. The whole thing looked fantastic- like something out of a catalogue. They were understandably chuffed with their efforts.

The cat, on the other hand, seemed less than pleased. They would put food in her bowl and come back to find it spread across the tiles. It happened every time they fed her- she would seemingly shun her food and throw it across the kitchen, covering the cupboards and floors.

Jill was not pleased. Her new kitchen was being violated several times a week. She became convinced that Bimbo was succumbing to old age- she was around 16 at this point- and started to talk about having her put down. Nick convinced her not to act so rashly; they could train the cat out of her behaviour.

Around a week later (with no change in moggy behaviour) they were sitting in their living room. The door was open.

Nick spotted a ginger blur.

"Jesus, I've just seen the cat run by with its bowl under its chin!"

Jill was understandably skeptical, but followed him out to the hall. There they found Bimbo and her beautiful chrome bowl surrounded by cat food.

Nick picked her up with one hand, and picked up her bowl in the other. He spoke to her in the exasperated tone familiar to anyone who has ever tried to train a cat.

"Why do you keep doing this?" he said, waving the bowl close to the cat's face. "You're making such a mes..."

At that point the chrome bowl pulled itself to the catflap magnet on Bimbo's collar. The cat let out a helpless 'miaow'.

The poor thing had been starving over the previous fortnight- every time she'd tried to eat, her bowl had stuck to her collar and she'd panicked.

Bimbo lived to around 19 and died of natural causes. She ate the rest of her meals from a ceramic bowl.
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Sun 9 Dec 2007, 22:21, 11 replies)

Arf!!!

( Bob Todd whee, Sun 9 Dec 2007, 23:23, closed)

I fucking LOVE this story.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 9 Dec 2007, 23:43, closed)

Ahhhh
This has all the hallmarks of an urban legend in the making. Magic, magic story - going to tell this one myself down the pub.

Cheers and click
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 3:03, closed)

Huzzah!!
Marvellous, like a car crash, I could see just what was coming, but still giggled like a 12yr old when the punch line came.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 11:07, closed)

Well done you
This is the bnest story I've read on this QOTW

*bows to your story prowess*
(Jugular, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:17, closed)

There are several more funny stories about that couple...
...but I'll save them for an appropriate QoTW ;)

This is one of the funnier ones- when I remembered it I had to calm down and stop laughing before I could type.

While I've filled in the dialogue, the story is 100% gospel. The truth is stranger than fiction :)
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 14:29, closed)

haha that is classic
poor cat
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 14:31, closed)

Hahaha, ace
*clicks*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 14:45, closed)

aww
*clicky-click*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 14:47, closed)

...
Winner? Possibly...
*click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 15:34, closed)