more mozzy stories
yes - Mosquitos from china.

When i was there, we had a weapon of defense - should we see one flying around the apartment, we had a Electric Tennis racket. I have yet to see these over here but are an ace idea.

Instead of the strings being nylon (or whatever they are) they are wire. And connected to batterys which charge up and upon contact with insect - spark it to death...

Trust me this is so much more fun than normal tennis, the flash that comes off is equal to that you see when a fly runs into those Blue lights you see at restaurants.

This is also good fun - when drunk to touch people and give them a good crack on the hand, thigh, foot or arse.

Additional to this we had - what i thought a plug in mosquito repelent. We shared this amongst our selves - as when someone was on night shift we would pas it to them to use, they would plug it in then hand it back that night.

This worked really well for 4-5 weeks, and kept all the mosquitos away.

Until one day. I was using it, there was a high pitched two tone dinging noise coming from it...
i unplugged it and moved into another room, and went back to bed. Only for it to repeatidly go off again... It must need a refill i thought...

it later became apparant that it was infact a wireless doorbell. My friend was locked out for 4 hrs...

good times..
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 14:04, 7 replies)

Leccy
Tennis racket. Maplins sell them. They're fucking ace!!
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 14:08, closed)

Tennis racket...
Yeah, I've got one of those, I like the noise it makes best!
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Tue 29 Apr 2008, 14:21, closed)

ive actually cheated
and dropped insects on to the racket before now...

they sort of do a funky dance before smouldring and giving off a foul smell..

cruel i know... but why should they be allowed to bite us?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 14:23, closed)

I have one of those rackets.
I recently was in my workshop when I heard the distinctive buzz of a carpenter bee. They're about the size of the end of my thumb (not an exaggeration) and are fond of burrowing into wood to build their nests- especially nice lumber that has been used for a building. I tried to discourage the bastard by swinging a piece of moulding around where he was buzzing, but he was persistent.

So I climbed up into the loft of my workshop with said racket, held the button down to give it a good charge, then reached out and tapped him with it. He dropped like a dress on prom night, tased and twitching on the floor below.

He liked lumber, you see, so I gave it to him by setting a 2x4 on top of him.

Bastards.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 29 Apr 2008, 14:27, closed)

illegal
don't try and import one of those electric rackets into Australia because they are illegal there and it will be confiscated.

lets just say you have been warned
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 16:02, closed)

i bought one a couple of years ago
they're great fun! they don't half give you a jolt if you're careless, though!
(LIMES, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 23:06, closed)

Rackets are fantastic
We had some boss or other of Health and Safety thwack himself with one a year or two ago...

They're also a good anti-chav defence. Gives them enough of a jolt that they'll not annoy you twice.
If you extend the cables to your fingertips rather than the racket grid and have the on/off switch on the palm of your hand it's even more awesome. It means you can give a seriously powerful slap.
Just don't go a-fwappin' with the glove on. You'll not do it twice!
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 11:00, closed)