Snow cock
I used to live next door to our school, which was fine for nipping home for stuff, but meant you could never, ever have an excuse for being late.

One night, it snowed. I had to get up early for my paper round, and looking over the school gate, I could see the pristine, virgin snow in the school playground.

There was only one thing for it. Under the cover of darkness, I stole in, and trampled out a fifty-foot long speed-cock in the snow, and legged it for the newsagents.

School assembly.

The headmaster got up on his podium with a grave look on his face.

"Who did it?" he thundered. "Who did that THING in the playground?"

I sat there, ashen-faced, radiating guilt.

"Mrs Ackrill, the caretaker's wife" he stormed, "Mrs Ackrill saw it and had one of her turns".

I thought about it, and considered sticking my hand in the air to own up. No point getting anybody into trouble, and there would be a certain status for being The Boy Who Made The Fifty Foot Snow Cock.

Status that could involve girls.

"There will be NO break-time this morning. Anyone seen in the playground without good excuse faces a week of after-school detention."

I sat on my hands and bit my tongue. For owning up after the entire school had been dealt this collective punishment would have signed my own death warrant.

But now I can confess. It was I who spoiled the entire school's snow fun.

It was I who caused hundreds of kids to watch helplessly from classroom windows as the snow slowly disappeared.

For, by home-time, it had rained, and both the snow and the fucking huge penis were gone.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:59, 9 replies)

"One of her turns"
hahaha
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:37, closed)

I would have felt pride rather than guilt
Fifty foot speed-cock is a win in anyone's language.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:55, closed)

surely it would only be visible
from quite a height, if it were as big as you say. surprised anyone noticed at all unless they happened to look down from the school roof.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:07, closed)

Yes, this is true
Caretakers lived in a first-floor flat above the art classes.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:08, closed)

ah, that would explain it then!

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:14, closed)

This made me grin manically :D
Like the ol' "Chalking a cock on the blackboard", points given for largeness of phallis and how long it takes for the teacher to actually notice it.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:24, closed)

haha
this is great.

someone in my school took that one step further and carved out a giant knob with something sharp on the blackboard, then covered the whole thing in chalk. the cock wasn't visible until the chalk was wiped off, and obviously couldn't be removed. quite difficult to teach something with an unerasable cock on the board
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:05, closed)

:D
perma-cock :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 7:51, closed)

also
in my school they cemented an outer wall, the workmen were finishing as we all left for the end of the day. In the morning somebody had drawn a couple having sex and calling the deputy head a cunt.
Entire school was greeted to this as they arrived in the morning.
(wobbler, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 19:55, closed)