Brown Alert
This is not my story. Thank fuck.

My best mate went to university in Middlesbrough (see a good portion of the responses to Rubbish Towns). Hopefully not many of you will know much about Teesside University, but most of the people who go there are either studying a Computer Games Develeopment/Design/Animation course, or PE. Not a great mix, leading to some extreme Geek vs Jock violence against a stunning backdrop of chav-infested poverty.

In the first year, he stayed in a house with about 8 other Games design students. A quick note about my friend, as lovely as he is, he can be a complete retard, and lacks the ability to make conversation/socialise properly, and as such has always been regarded as a bit 'special'. In Teesside however, he quickly found himself propelled to the top of the social ladder with his dazzling linguistic skills and average weight and complexion.

I never found the time to visit him in Middlesbrough (I was washing my hair for 3 years), but one of the guys he told me about was a first year housemate called Keith. Keith was apparently an insufferable git, I can't remember what he actually did, but I doubt he deserved to have shit stuck to his door (anonymously) by my friend.

I did inquire as to how he had gone about such a task, he nonchalantly replied that he had carefully placed the turd into a folded piece of paper like a parcel, and used a drawing pin to attach it to Keith's door (I can only imagine him removing the pin to have it gracefully roll out onto him). I think he cried when he saw it. I still find this story hard to fathom.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 14:14, 2 replies)

this one time I drove a Honda Accord through my mate Keith's door
or at least that's what I heard.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 14:32, closed)

Worryingly
It's actually true. Still i'm not sure how Honda Accord Justice applies to something this shamefully disgusting!
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:54, closed)