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This is a question Anonymous

One of the B3ta team danced on stage at the Brixton Academy dressed as an enormous white rabbit, and lived to tell the tale. Confess the stuff – good or bad - you've done anonymously.

(, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:10)
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My tale of hijinks and anonymity.
Jesus, that's a hard word to spell- anonymity.

A long ,long time ago, around eighteen months or so, I found myself with nothing to do, and not a lot of time to do it in. I ended up on the internet a lot more than I should have, and started frequenting message boards, chat rooms, that sort of thing. I talked to lots of people, and had many good times, as you do. After a while, though, I discovered I was growing bored with the mundane talking, with the fact I had to be me on these sites, so I decided to do something about it.
At first, I did the staple of any bored internet user- I created a seperate identity for myself. I made myself older, or younger. I even, on a couple of places, made myself a girl- and a lesbian, too, just to make sure I had that extra bit of diversity. Eventually, this too became stale and boring.
So, I looked for new ways to amuse myself, and discovered that, on certain sites, l and I look exactly the same (small 'l', big 'i'), and set about using usernames- pre-existing usernames- of people who had those letters in. That's where it became fun- I was assuming identities of people who were already known, who already had reputations. Not only was I becoming someone else, I was becoming someone else who already existed. Each came with new friends, enemies, lovers. Soon I spent more time as other people, and less time as myself.
Eventually, though, I realised I was enjoying being other people more than I wanted to be me, and I stopped, just in time to stop myself going completely insane.
I realise this isn't a funny story, and perhaps not even relevant, but I just wanted to share it.
Anonymity, the idea that you can be anyone you want to be, is intoxicating, and powerful, and very dangerous. I almost lost myself to it, and it was only thanks to some very good friends that I didn't.

EDIT (does it count as an edit if I'm altering this before anyone's read it?)
Anyway, I also had- and still have- problems with creating identities on instant messengers. In fact, I've got a couple I've worked on so much, I could reel off their entire backstory, and talk about them like they're real people. I've gone so far as to research minute details about medical conditions, about supposed places they've been, people they've known, things they've done. I've created social networking sites, I've set up blogs, I've done all kinds of things, and all because I like the idea of escaping and being someone else.
One identity I had, I used for two years straight with a girl; she fell in love with the guy I was meant to be, and she dated 'me', and we were on the verge of being engaged(she asked 'me'), when I told her we couldn't do it. I never told her the truth, instead coming up with some reason why it would never work; better to hurt her with a lie than destroy her with the truth.
I can't help myself with these things, although I wish I could; I feel it's some sort of mental condition, and I would do anything, anything at all, to stop, but i'm addicted.
So, if you see anything on a Lucifer Deveaux, a Roxbury Kendrick, a Raphael Douquet, or a Liliana Newbury, they could possibly be me.

Thanks for letting me share.

Oh, and on the off chance she happens to be reading: Katie Lettering, I'm sorry.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:08, 13 replies)
Mmmmm ...
Lesbians ...
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:25, closed)
a straight guy, I made an excellent lesbian, if I do say so myself.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:26, closed)
does that list include
Pooflake, Frankspencer and Spankyhanky? If so I forgive you.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:28, closed)
Can't say so, nope.
i'm more the 'actual identities' sort of weirdo, rather than the 'random usernames' sort of one.

It's not my fault =[
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:32, closed)
Sounds like another form of escapism to me
I do it with computer games; I deal with the real world then once that's past I love nothing more than to just forget about the shitty stink of reality and bury myself into a decent game for a few hours.

Or to be pissed up with 6 horny lesbians, whatever's closer to hand tbh.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 13:45, closed)
That's pretty much what it is, to be honest.
When I've had a shit day (can I say shit here? Fuck, I don't know), I sometimes log on to one of the accounts, or whatever, and have a chat with someone.
I can slip into someone else for a while (oo-er), and relax, and forget about my troubles.

Which..souinds like pathetic reasoning, but what the hell.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:04, closed)
Your engaged girlie...
You coulda told her the truth. Perhaps she in fact loved you for who you really are, not for who you thought you were portraying.
I had a long relationship with a guy who did the same sort of thing - met him online, he made out he was a GP who had gone on to be a trauma surgeon. Researched it meticulously, gave out "unofficial diagnoses" to friends, still has many people who knew both of us fooled to the day.
A year after we met online and three months after we met in real life he told me it was all a sham, he was a motorcycle courier whose nan had died of cancer, which had caused him to have a bit of a breakdown. The GP fantasy was the result.
We were together for four years after that. Who he really was had come through his lies more than he ever thought - and I fell in love with that person. not the one he thought I knew.

Just saying, you never know.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:06, closed)
Yes, this
Sure, everything she knows about you; your name, job, background, what you look like, it’s all false. But your personality, your sense of humour, your opinions, the very things that make you the person you are, are still all you, regardless of what name you’re hiding behind. Just a thought.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:16, closed)
But then I did things like tell her I was part Italian, that I'd lost most of a leg in a car accident, that I liked things which in 'real life' I don't.
I could have told her the truth, but the 'me' I created, that she loved, was completely different to the 'actual' me.
(, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 17:53, closed)
having two legs
might compensate for the not being a bronzed italian though. swings and roundabouts etc.
(, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 8:54, closed)
Did he gaz you pictures of his cock as well?

(, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 16:12, closed)
i searched facebook....
there is a Rapheal Duquet
and a Lilian Newbury

i know both slightly different spellings, but by any chance you??
(, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 22:18, closed)
Nope, not me.
But still, that's weird.

I made the names up completely, didn't know they were real.
(, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 23:41, closed)

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