I once got paid a fiver by my Dad to sweep the chimney
Two days later in hospital, turns out I'd inhaled enough soot to cause serious damage to my lungs if it wasn't sorted (which it was.)

I couldn't breathe, and neither could my Dad who was still laughing after hearing "FUCK I'M STUCK *splutter*" echo around the house.

Got a tenner though, so worth it.
(DarkMalfunction put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional' on, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 22:01, 8 replies)

You are supposed to hire destitute orphan children for that job.
It keeps them out of the hands of nonces.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 23:26, closed)

How did they manage to clean your lungs, just out of interest?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 9:48, closed)

I'm actually a North Korean spy
So as a torture method, they duct taped a Henry Hoover to my mouth and left it switched on for 16 days.
(DarkMalfunction put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional' on, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 14:31, closed)

Turn that frown inside out

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 14:35, closed)

I'm assuming they gave him a lolly and a "brave boy" badge and hoped that he'd never learn that lungs can't be cleaned and that his father had probably knocked ten years off his life and doomed him to one of the most infamously painful cancers.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 15:05, closed)

Still, at least he got a tenner.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 15:22, closed)

can't complain
not with those breathing tubes and all that morphine
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Jul 2014, 15:28, closed)

ten years off the rubbish end, probably doing him a favour.

( Zuowan, Sat 12 Jul 2014, 16:06, closed)