Bungle.
My chemistry teacher, looking back, was a pretty awesome guy. He was one of those teachers that, when you're there, you think is a bit soft but basically ok, but don't realise til later that you'd probably like to have a pint with him if you ever meet him again.

Bungle was that man. Gaining his nickname from his beard (which was just an ordinary beard, really) and penchant for pink shirts, he did all the awesome chemistry teacher things, blowing up a bag of helium and scaring the shite out of us and the like, but the man had an amazing capacity to take shit off pupils and not lose his temper. He wasn't soft, he'd deal with trouble, but he'd never go off his head. My class were pretty tame, but my best mate's class weren't and they had him for registration. His tolerance for the shit they threw his way is still something I marvelled at, as another science teacher was driven almost mental by the same class and needed time off.

They once gummed up the lock on his room by jamming jelly sweets into it. When he saw it, he just sighed and whipped out a pair of tweezers from his pocket, and was visibly chortling at all the "What did you have them for in the bathroom?" comments. The next time they went further and the tweezers wouldn't work, so he scaled the wall outside and climbed in the window, briefly turning him into "spider-bungle". The best one, though, was when he mentioned he had a daughter. "You've got a daughter, sir?" someone shouted. "Yeth, I have" he said (oh, he had a lisp as well which caused no end of inane juvenile taunting). "Oooooooooh!" shouted the heckler, "you've had sex! Oh! Bungles had sex! Bungle's had sex!" The whole class started chanting as his face reddened and he creased up with laughter. Most teachers would have went mental, but he just had a laugh, said "alright, settle down" and got on with it.

Wish we'd appreciated it at the time, some of our teachers were shits!
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 15:06, 7 replies)

... and then he threw a big lump of sodium into a bath of water, right?
Right??
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 15:39, closed)

I think...
You probably meant he blew up bags of hydrogen. Bags of helium wouldn't do much more than float around...
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 17:10, closed)

Oh, the humanity!
I was hoping to be the first to point that out.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 17:27, closed)

I should point out...
I liked the story and *clicked* accordingly.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 17:33, closed)

The more snarky amongst us would have suggested that "Bungle" mustn't have been any good.
(If you're confusing helium and hydrogen.)

EDIT: That makes me look a bit harsh, nice story - clicked.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 17:43, closed)

I only checked the replies to see if someone had mentioned this.
Never change, B3ta...
( Mr.Ons knows you can hear him, Earthmen., Wed 23 Mar 2011, 22:43, closed)

He should have said
"Yeah, so has your mother."
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 23 Mar 2011, 18:25, closed)