I sat through a film called Sliding Doors in the hope that she'd have sex with me, AND took her to a pub afterwards.
Fuck's sake - I reckon it would be easier to just approach people with legal contracts and a CV.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:07, 18 replies)

sliding doors
*shudder*
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:09, closed)

I seem to remember that film not being quite so awful as I expected.
Mind you, I thought that about Batman Forever, but repeat viewings disabused me of that notion.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:11, closed)

Wrong.
It's got that Gwyneth "Always about to cry" Paltrow in it.

Even when she's trying to do sexy she looks like a sulky 16yo that's going to write a poem about it all.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:17, closed)

hehe
that's ace. I liked her in Iron Man though
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:19, closed)

If I don't get the box set for Christmas I will kill again.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:26, closed)

Amazon freeze your account?

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:29, closed)

That's one way of describing it.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:32, closed)

If it's a legal
contract there has to be consideration.

You have to give her something in return for letting you fuck her.

I find £20 usually works, er, I mean a friend of mine said that.
(username failed moderation, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:10, closed)

What a splendid idea!
"Would you have sex with me for £1,000,000?"

"Sure!"

"In that case, will you have sex with me for £5?"

"No! What kind of girl do you think I am?!"

"Well we've established that, my dear - now we're just negotiating a price."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:18, closed)

i went on a date with a girl who wanted to know my employment history and current salary once

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:10, closed)

come to think of it, i also had a job interview once where we talked about my favourite films and what i like to do in my spare time

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:11, closed)

^ Unemployed ^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:16, closed)

A friend who works in HR
received a 10 page CV. It had among other things

A photo of himself
Lists of films he liked with reviews
Lists of books he liked with reviews
Lists of TV programs he liked with reviews

They say your CV should stand out from the rest but not perhaps because it's the most laughable piece of shit the HR department has ever seen
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:23, closed)

To be fair it was an audition for presenting Points Of View.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:26, closed)

I once got a CV with a two page essay on how the candidate has been used as a political pawn in a semi-despotic regime in central africa
It was easily the most interesting CV I've ever read. Shame they had no relevant skills or qualifications really.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:27, closed)

waffle is always better at breakfast than on a CV

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 19:24, closed)

I had a job interview once where the guy asked me when and where I lost my virginity...
That sounds like the start of a terrible joke, but it's true O_o
( skullfunkerry In case of implosion do not look into implosion, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 19:15, closed)

did they also shine bright lights in your eyes and inject you with truth serum?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 19:20, closed)