How to lose a customer
*sound of bell as door to branch opens*

Banker: Hello, welcome to Nationwide Building Society, how may I help you?

TBS: Hello there, I am moving my life savings from their current place of rest as I want to return to the better value and more pleasant approach to customer service that I will get from a mutual building society. I have here a cheque for 10 grand that I wish to deposit in a new savings account with you.

Banker: Certainly, I will need proof of ID and proof of address, do you have these with you?

TBS: Yes, here is my UK passport, and here is a statement from my bank showing that they are providing financial services to me at my current address, thus satisfying all FSA regulations.

Banker: Ah, I'm sorry. We only accept bank statements as proof of ID, not address. Here is a list of the items we will accept as proof of address.

TBS: Let me see. Gas or electricity bill? No, mine are paperless accounts as I save money this way, so I cannot offer you those. Landline phone bill? The same. Heavily discounted if I save the company having to post them to me. Mortgage statement? No, I live in London am not in the top 2% of earners. I only rent. Water bill? All dealt with via the service charges for my apartment block. Council tax bill? Generated by people who do not speak English and so consistently sent to "Mr Cheeseburgerfelch" rather than my real name of "Mr Cheesebuggerfelch" and despite many requests to change this they are unable to tell the difference. I don't expect you to accept this as proof and will not insult you by trying. Is there no way my bank statement will suffice? It says who I am and where I live.

Banker: No, these are our rules and I will stick to them rigidly and am not prepared even to make a telephone call to find out from my superiors why they are so restrictive and if any exception at all can be made. The FSA may well say that a bank statement is an acceptable proof of address, but we are NATIONWIDE and we do things our way and you will lie back and take it bitch.

TBS: But if you don't try to assist me with this problem, I will walk out of this branch never to return, thus depriving you of a five figure deposit and potentially further sums, also I will remove any chance you yourself have of getting the sales commission for signing up a new customer. Is this something you are comfortable with?

Banker: I'm sorry. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

TBS: Goodbye.

True story. Proof at:

www.nationwide.co.uk/search/DisplayArticle.aspx?article=1101
(TalkbackStuck making obscene phonecalls since, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 17:16, 5 replies)

i had the same experience trying to open a non card savings account with Abbey.

seriously insane!
( awallafashagba Da da da da da Dah dah, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 17:19, closed)

This is why some people

argue for ID cards.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 17:28, closed)

Those are the people who don't actually understand
that the anti ID card campaign is less opposed to the small white card, than to the all pervasive database which will lie behind the card.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 17:34, closed)

Although...
Having to carry an easily forged piece of plastic because its the law doesn't make me do cartwheels either..

Especially when you consider that the people working on the day-to-day running of the system are probably just as competent as banking staff (and trained the same "Tick the boxes sod the people" kind of way)

The original posters bank of despair do seem to be coming off as one of the less able banks as well...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 18:00, closed)

I tried
to open an account there once. Took my passport and driving licence and a whole host of other crap.

Never saw any of it again, nor did I end up with an account.

When I phoned about my ID, I was told it was *probably* destroyed.
(dchurch bah, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 14:10, closed)