Apologies in advance
10 months ago I secured myself a job at everybody's favourite red Spanish bank, this was just before the recent banking 'crisis' so there was none of this daily mail stigma attached to the industry and I certainly didn't realise we were sat nonchiently at the top of a rollarcoaster heading for a load of shit.

I didn't enjoy the job, spending the day in my little perspex prison wading through red tape, customer fuck-wittery and clueless colleagues.

Fast forward 9 months and my probationary review. Apparently due to a lack of dynamic sales focus on my behalf they are streamlining my career blah blah blah. After a quick glance at my bullshit to english dictionary basically they were getting shot of me. I had 4 weeks and then gone.

Now whilst a little bit of me was cheering that I was free I was a little peeved because nobody ever hit their targets. Such was the greed of the people above they made them nigh on impossible so I conducted a plan.

For that whole 4 weeks I wrote down the card number of everyone I served, I even went on the system and lifted the numbers other people had served. By the end of it I had nearly 1000 card numbers on a word document, and on the very last day at about 3 o'clock, I systematically ordered every card on that list a nice new pin number.

I then spent the next day at the pub opposite watching a queue form outside the door of angry looking fuckwits storm in and then storm out.

Length: Stretching almost to BHS
(Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 1:19, 14 replies)

Revenge may have been sweet...
...but if I had been one of those customers now unable to use my card I'd have been fucking livid.
(Stuffed Chimp, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 1:23, closed)

Words fail me
Except these ones: "You are a monumental penis"
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 3:54, closed)

Haha!
This!

I wonder if my conscience could actually bear the thought of ruining over 1000 peoples day in one sitting. People like you should be neutered.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 8:57, closed)

^ Thrice this

( rofl harris, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 10:56, closed)

Well done
to upset your employers you managed to piss off a whole load of people who didn't deserve it.

That's really good of you. If all of those people had been rude to you then I would have said 'fair play' but as it is you managed to ruin these peoples days for no good reason.

Ass-hat
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 23 Jul 2009, 9:19, closed)

I used to work for a bank..
The reason I haven't posted is I couldn't separate one horror story out of the hundreds, and hundreds...

Hand on heart, I honestly would have done a similar thing to this, possibly with added Right of Set Off goodness..(Where you take money out of the punter's accounts, because they owe it to the bank on, say, their credit card)

I'm better now, but until you've worked in one of these hellholes, you can't predict how it'd make you react.

Obviously, I'd want to maim the cnut that changed MY P.I.N. now, but that's a different matter...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 9:35, closed)

Trust me
I spent 10 years in retail - the high point of which was being called a fucking cunt by an angry punter - however I exacted revenge on the individuals who pissed me off, not random punters who had done nothing wrong.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 23 Jul 2009, 9:40, closed)

You must have known when you posted
that you would come in for some serious abuse. By all means gently fuck over people who have been rude, ignorant and abusive, but was there really any need to quite so vigorously shaft so many - most of whom were probably completely inoffensive before your little stunt. I spent 6 years working at WH Smith whilst at college and uni and I got called all the cunts under the sun during that time but would never have even dreamed of doing something so unpleasant.

Length you say? From the bank to BHS is probably the same length as the gigantic pustulous syphilis-ridden cock you are.
(berk, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 9:53, closed)

Sales targets are usually set by complete and utter fucktards
Some places like to set unrealistic targets to obtain bonuses etc. From my years of working in these sorts of fucked up sales environments I'd say it's pretty obvious you need to a) get out quickly, and b) sneak out as much stationary, computer equipment, cleaning products and other various knick-knacks with you before you go. Could have a veritable Aladdins Cave in your living room, mate.

But don't fuck about with the customers - that's a bit shit. Fuck about with the company. By all means, put sugar in your bosses petrol tank, but leave the poor innocents alone.

Won't somebody think of the children???
( SpankyHanky, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 10:23, closed)

great
and then i sold all the card details on the interweb! brilliant.
revenge is a dish best served to the right fucking table, innit.
(jonboy75, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 10:29, closed)

Utter bastard
Out of those thousand people I'm sure there were at least 10 that had their holidays ruined due to not being able to access their money, another few who found themselves stranded a long way from home because they couldn't pay for their train/cab fare, hundreds who suffered immense embarrassment when they got to the checkout in the supermarket and found they couldn't pay for their shopping (this probably also caused a fair few people, probably including some children, to go hungry) and, the most heinous crime of all, caused many people to go sober because they couldn't take out cash to buy beer with. There were probably also a couple of people who had their lives disrupted in more severe ways, maybe someone got fired because they couldn't make it into work, someone might have missed the funeral of a close friend or family member, someone might have gone temporarily homeless because they couldn't pay for the deposit on a new place etc. You really are a complete and utter cunt who deserved to get the sack - I hope you never get another job again and that you get herpes.
(mmm....beer, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 10:30, closed)

I read this as
"I am a troll". Or it may have been "I am a cunt" - I struggle sometimes with the translation.
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 11:01, closed)

Gitsack
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
( Scrumper, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 12:09, closed)

you cock

( fudboy high ideals and crazy dreams, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:38, closed)