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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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Internet cafe buzz
I was in an internet cafe in a predominantly Muslim area. I was getting bored waiting for an Aussie friend skyping so I got a computer myself. I was then bored looking at the guardian site so decided to get my "buzz" on.

The computers had dividers giving a certain amount of privacy. The girl sat next to me would have had to lean round to see what I was doing. I did start to feel uncomfortable when I went to type in my favoured hardcore porn site and bottled it. I googled "lesbians" instead. I clicked on the first result and then totally bottled it and shut the window down. Only it didn't shut down. It opened up four more windows. Which I then shut down. Only they didn't shut down. They opened up 4 more windows. Then my computer froze. This brought me, my computer and my frozen computer screen to the attention of the Devout Ismalist running the internet cafe.

As he walked over the girl, wondering what all the fuss was about, checked out my screen. I vividly remember the picture in the top corner of my screen being a middle aged woman with clothes pegs covering her genetals. She looked at the image then turned to me with a face of contempt and disgust. I then turned from the damning face of my fellow surfer to find the Internet Cafe manager standing next to me. By this point I was crippled with embarrasment. I looked like I was about to have a nervous breakdown. Fortunately he saw the anguish I was going through. He gave me a look like "it's happened before" and let me leave.

Upon joining me outside I informed the Aussie of my plight. He laughed. Hard. After laughing he asked: "Did you get to finish one off?" No. No I didn't.
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 15:51, 3 replies)
Best not to look at heavy P in a public internet cafe, i admire your chutzpah, for thinking you could however...
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 16:04, closed)
why would you look at porn in a public internet cafe?
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 16:29, closed)
Especially in a Muslim country...
"Danger Wank" perhaps?
Though I'm surprised you could e en get porn -- don't most religious-nutter run countries* have porn-blocking firewalls and mandate the use of net-nanny type software in public areas?
*like Australia and Pakistan
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:36, closed)

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