Clicky pen
He has a clicky pen and sits all day clicking his clicky fucking pen. "Click, click, click, clicketty clicky, click, click...clickclickclickclickclickclick. Clicky click, clickclickclickclick....clickety click...." and on it goes, on and on and on, sitting there clicking his pen, clicking away.

When he is telling a hilarious story about his X-Box or latest graphics card the clicking of his pen gets faster. When he's trying to explain something to someone he clicks his pen slowly. When he walks he clicksd his pen in time with with footsteps. "Click, click, click, click, click, clicketty, fucking click." All bloody day. I've even started hiding his pens by throwing them out the window on to the roof, but some how he always manages to find a new clicky pen.
( The Duke of Prunes, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:17, 9 replies)

have you tried telling him to stop it?
it might just work.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:22, closed)

or
kicking him in the nuts.
( Trollman, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:22, closed)

.
Kick him in the nuts, as Raff suggests, but do so reapeatedly. Shouting "click" each time. Don't stop until he's figured out why you're doing it. Don't give him any hints at all. That'll learn 'em.

PS: Your NLP training is going well... it worked on me =]
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:44, closed)

click,click, cli
Superglue his clicky bit of the pen. With a little bit of luck he'll explode if he can't click
(bugboybeast, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:49, closed)

Bond has the answer
Replace his pen with one of those explosive ones that was in Goldeneye. Or Tomorrow Never Dies. Or one of them.
(Hagis, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 23:32, closed)

or use psychology
Smack him on the back of the head with a hardback psychology book so his face goes through his monitor.
(frankspencer, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 11:26, closed)

Electrify
You can get joke pens that give you a small electric shock when you press the end. Im sure he will love that!
(Masterb3ta, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 21:02, closed)

Try this:
"Can you stop clicking your fucking pen, it's extremely annoying."

Let us know how it goes.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 9:07, closed)

very nice
best story on here!


now I have to go out and buy a few clicky pens......muhahaha
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 31 Jan 2008, 1:36, closed)