There's a bloke in our office...
Who is a proper cunt.

He spends all day on B3ta slagging us off and writing fuck-awful puns, consequently getting no work done whatsoever...

lazy twat.

signed,

The rest of Pooflake's office
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 30 Jan 2008, 15:42, 17 replies)

Sack him.
Teehee!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 15:49, closed)

make him
clean the poor abused toilets!!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 15:51, closed)

...
Give him a guitar and DBC!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 15:53, closed)

Tie his hands behind his back..
And tickle him till he screams for mercy.


Sorry! getting into the realms of sexual fantasies then.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:02, closed)

Pooflake's Minions:-
Bet he doesn't play "Bernard" for you?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:08, closed)

absolution
I would forgive you all your puns, and indeed all your future puns, if I could only hear Bernard for myself. The secondhand reports are so complimentary.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:10, closed)

Crackhouse...

No problem...but if you've heard the backstory...pop over, bring a bottle, wear something skimpy and brace yourself!!

...

(for the biggest anti-climax in the history of music).
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:12, closed)

I think
I will have to hold not just a QoTW gathering, but a BERNARD! gathering at some point.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:16, closed)

Crackhouse
That sounds like a plan!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:21, closed)

Could be done!
Now that Pooflake and myself are back rehearsing we sound merely god awful instead of our usual diabolically bad. A QOTW bash with C&S could be arranged.

Whaddya think Pooflake m'boy?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:34, closed)

It's 'Finger in the ears' time folks...
Sign me up - I'm in!

I'll bring the DBC and the Bernard box-set (consisting of Bernard 1 & 2...I've forgotten how 3 went)

Captain Placid will bring his supreme talent, sex appeal and unfeasibly large package...(Ask BGB apparently)

Everybody else bring their earplugs and blindfolds and we could just be in for a doozy of a night!

EDIT: Hold on Cap...rehearsing? All we've done is get wrecked round your shag-pad...once! Does that count as a rehearsal? Woo yay!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:38, closed)

Crackhouse
Be very careful... when the Captain and Pooflake played "Bernard" in front of la Poulet-Madame I was forced to physically restrain her.

"Bernard" unleashes hitherto unknown dark and primordial urges in a woman...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:44, closed)

indeed
I can smell the testosterone from here.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:50, closed)

^^^ No, that's Captain Placid...
He always smells like that...


*wafts hands about*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:52, closed)

Whaddya me an ALL we've done.........
Getting wrecked round at various shagpads worked for the Rolling Stones, why not us? Eh! Eh!

OK they have talent, OK they can play but apart from that, what's the difference?


Oh yeah the money.


And the girls.


And the drugs.........no, hang on........
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:55, closed)

When and where?
I want to know so I can ensure I've got my camera ready, and maybe even the camcorder....


Oh and of course a pair of reinforced knickers that won't drop of their own accord once they hear the opening bars of Bernard!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 20:30, closed)

I heard Bernard and lived to tell the tale....
I did however slobber over Pooflake like a German Shephard on viagra.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 20:45, closed)