Lots and lots of poo
Not me, but a friend, let's cal him Al (for that was his name... yadda yadda yadda).
A couple of years ago he goes out one night, ends up in a club dancing with some hot girl. They're pretty pissed and all seems to be going well. After a few more shots she suggests going back to hers. Al jumps at the chance and soon they're in her bedroom having drunken fumbley sex.
The next thing he knows he's woken up in the middle of the night with a strange sensation. Kind of wet, kind of squidgy and then the stench hits him. He's shat everywhere. He gets out of bed slowly, so as not to wake his poor unfortunate one night stand and makes his way to the bathroom to clean himself up.
Once in the bathroom he starts to panic. He doesn't know what to do. The girl is still asleep in the bed, so he can't take the sheets off to wash them without waking her. He doesn't want to wake her. He's decided, he's going to do a runner, but all his clothes are in the room. He'll have to sneak in the room, retrieve his clothes and then quietly leave.
As he opens the door as gently as he can, the shock hit's him. She's awake. But not only is she awake...... she's wanking whilst smearing herself in his shit and beckoning him. He's figures he's got 2 options - Either turn and run like the clappers, or get stuck in for a second round. He doesn't know which to choose. Having ever been into scat he thinks about leaving but maybe the alcohol and the fact that this girl was a hottie makes him go against his better judgement. He dives back in. It's only after they've finished that she tells him she spiked him with laxatives. Then he ran.
(bobbycutters is a bit ginger, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 22:19, 17 replies)

Holy shit!
that is all.
(ianisme, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 22:41, closed)

This shit-crazy woman victim...
is the most popular person in the world!!
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 22:51, closed)

Hasn't someone already posted this story further down?
Or does this crap-fancier get around? (Apologies if you're reading this.)

Or- worse yet- is this whole thing just more common than I'd like to think?
(xaer0mancer, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 22:59, closed)

You're just scared of adults expressing themselves sexually you virgin.
/every sex liar on here ever
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 23:02, closed)

It must be hard for a scat-loving woman to bring that up.
But as I said in the other thread, parachoc & rowies? Really.
Couldn't they just for the more conventional varieties of sex, maybe build up some sort of relationship & then introduce the idea? Call me old fashioned.
Btw - is Al from a southern American state by any chance?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 23:43, closed)

I think the reason she didn't try to build a relationship first
is that most blokes would run a mile at the talk of 'shit on me then do me'.

And no - Al isn't from the southern states. He was living in Southern England at the time, but originally from up north.
(bobbycutters is a bit ginger, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 0:12, closed)

And this Al guy, did he often pass off urban myths as things that had happened to him?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 0:13, closed)

I don't know what you mean...?
I do know he appreciated a good story though.
(bobbycutters is a bit ginger, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 0:34, closed)

It's an old old urban myth. It's already been told a couple of times this week.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_legend
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 8:59, closed)

I assume it must be easy to keep a woman like that happy.
Most want chocolate, flowers and expensive things. She wants your poop. What's easier than that?!
( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 5:22, closed)

Urban legend is still an urban legend.
You fucking dick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 8:57, closed)

Well I hadn't heard it before and it made me laugh
You fucking dick
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:20, closed)

Well I'm glad something makes you happy.
You fucking dick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:44, closed)

Calm down boys.....
It's only a story.
(bobbycutters is a bit ginger, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:37, closed)

So's your mum.
You fucking dick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:44, closed)

So that's the 419th time this story's featured as a response.
Whatever next?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:11, closed)

And only one "accidentally up the bum" story.
It's a fucking travesty.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:17, closed)