I don't really get the excitement about food.
To me it really is pretty functional. If I'm hungry, I'll have a cheese sandwich.

Don't get me wrong - it's nice and all, and I enjoy a tasty dish, but I just don't see the point about getting poncy about it, particularly considering that it's life span is generally going to only be about 15 minutes at the outset.

Mrs Vagabond - she loves it - often produces meals which wouldn't look out of place in a posh restaurant, with the leaves of salad arranged just so, and the main part placed on top at the right angle. She's an ace cook, and whenever we have guests they invariably rave about her food, to the point that we've met people at parties who know of her food through one of our friends.

But all this pornification of it? Nah. No point. It's a meal, and will be gone in a few minutes, not a potential life partner.

And you're wrong - I'm fantastic in bed.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:51, 9 replies)

so whats the best/worst?

(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:56, closed)

I answered that earlier. The answer is
"Your mum".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:05, closed)

Why ignore an entire range of senses?

( clockworkrat has nice pants, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:03, closed)

It's not ignoring them, food just doesn't inspire me.
It's the same with cars, or fashionable jumpers, or small electronic gadgets. They just strike me as functional.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:08, closed)

Everyone's dull about something.
For e.g., I don't think classical music is a big deal. I don't understand the differences between the forms and composers, and some piece or section my brother will proclaim to be 'revolutionary' or 'sublime' or 'genius' sounds like...classical music. He thinks I'm an uncultured boor.
Vagabond is like that with food. It happens.

Actually, I love cooking, so I had to think for a while to avoid being extremely confrontational about it. I hope you appreciate my effort, Vag, you dull grey uninteresting bastard with no notion of joy.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:12, closed)

Agree
though to be fair, you don't get people going on about different smells in the same way as they do for food.

Food isn't just about taste though, it's smell and touch, and it's also a social thing. Notice how many 'best food' experiences on here are actually just quite good food in an awesome setting.

People talk about food as if the pleasure is somehow objectively derived from the meal itself, but you wouldn't think it was strange if someone was telling you their 'best sex' experience and the story was all about the context, rather than the act.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:15, closed)

That’s because you’re contrary cock.

For example all bacon a sandwiches are't equal. There’s the standard waterlogged back bacon in generic sliced white and flora. OK it’s better than no Bacon sandwich but…

Grill dry cured streaky bacon, lightly toasted crusty bread, butter, tomato sauce.
AND
Microwave a slice of Serrano ham for two minutes and add just before serving. In microwaving the Serrano will become a crisp essence of grilled bacon that will give crunch and depth of baconess to the sarnny the like of which you’ve never experienced.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:17, closed)

I will bear that in mind...

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:18, closed)

Now this!
This I can relate to!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:54, closed)

This should be in the top tips page
and it is one I will be trying this coming (fnar!) weekend.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:41, closed)

Thank you,
I will be trying this for sure. Sounds awesome!
(robbersdog, Fri 27 May 2011, 23:25, closed)

Two minutes?
Don't you mean 'cremated'?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 30 May 2011, 23:26, closed)

it's a balancing act
you want it to be completely crisp, so if you hit it with a knife it shaters, but not burnt.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 31 May 2011, 16:55, closed)

It's one of the fundamental pleasures of life going back to the very roots of our evolution and ingrained into the essence of our being.
It's almost certainly related to your inability to grasp simple materialism. You probably think you've got some mystical afterlife to look forward to.

Essentially, you are mentally ill.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:09, closed)

Well I've known I'm mentally ill for some time.
As for the afterlife - I've got no idea at all about that bit.

But I take your point about the roots of one's evolution.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:33, closed)