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This is a question Bodge Jobs

If you can't fix it with a hammer and a roll of duck tape, it's not worth fixing at all, my old mate said minutes before that nasty business with the hammer and a roll of duck tape. Tell us of McGyver-like repairs and whether they were a brilliant success or a health and safety nightmare.

(, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:58)
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improvised security
A guy I know had his fuel nicked from his car by someone cutting the fuel line and draining the tank. (It was an old car). He referred to the culprits as fucking cunty shit cunts, replaced the line and thought that was that.

A week or so later, it happened again. This time it was fucking bastard cunty cunting arseholes. He replaced the line once more, but this time mixed a load of swarf and metal turnings with evostick and painted it on.

A week later or so, he went out in the morning and noticed blood under his car and a trail of splashes leading off up the road and across the field.

Sometimes you need to supplement a cheap car alarm.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:56, 6 replies)
That's a click from me. Anything where deserving people suffer significant injury is a click from me.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:46, closed)
In a similar manner...
One of my mates had his house broken into via a back window. Usual video nicked etc. The copper who came out (They used to do that in t'old days) suggested mixing crushed up glass into the putty when the window was replaced.

Apparently the shits had been known to come back again as they knew there was likely to be a brand new video waiting for them. They also knew the putty would still be soft so they could scrape it off with their fingers and the glass removed quietly...or maybe not so quietly once they found the glass!

Go to go, need to stick some carpet gripper rod to the tops of my garden fence...
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:11, closed)
Wasn't there a case in South Africa
where the judge ruled it was perfectly legal to fit your car with acid jets and flamethrowers to prevent you being carjacked when you stopped at the lights? Might be seen as a little extreme in Richmond-upon-Thames, though.

My dad worked with a guy who drove a Rolls and kept having his hood ornament nicked, until he wired it up to the car battery.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:22, closed)
^ this for ingenuity... serves the thieving bastard right.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 12:48, closed)
Excellent skills that man.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 16:44, closed)
Unfortunately, in the UK at least, It's illegal to harm people who steal from you.
Instead you must consult a great many authorities and be strong enough to stop them without causing undue pain.
It's actually illegal here to defend your right to property.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:05, closed)

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