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If you can't fix it with a hammer and a roll of duck tape, it's not worth fixing at all, my old mate said minutes before that nasty business with the hammer and a roll of duck tape. Tell us of McGyver-like repairs and whether they were a brilliant success or a health and safety nightmare.

(, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:58)
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I once got called out
to do a job in a hotel in Torquay. The owner and his wife wanted a doorway knocking through from reception to the kitchen and the drawing room door blocking off, but I, being such a fuckwit, blocked up the dining room doorway and put a door at the bottom of the stairs. Well, when the owner came back and saw what I'd done, he phoned me up and said he was going to insert a garden gnome up my arse.

Anyway, I went back to the hotel and I admitted that I'd made a mistake and attempted to lighten the situation with a little humour but the owners wife laid into me with her umbrella!
I'm never going there again, I can tell you.
(, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 23:57, 6 replies)
I actually read that in his voice

(, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 0:07, closed)
only beat me 2 it cos i wuz puttun't'bairn't'bobo's...
(, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 0:19, closed)
There is too much butter
On, those, trays!
(, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 0:26, closed)
You are orally men?

(, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 1:06, closed)
Who is man with beard?

(, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 11:48, closed)
You beat me to it.
(, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 17:58, closed)
Got it at "Torquay".
"I tell you, if the Good Lord..."
"...is mentioned once more, I shall move you closer to Him."
(, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 11:12, closed)

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