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If you can't fix it with a hammer and a roll of duck tape, it's not worth fixing at all, my old mate said minutes before that nasty business with the hammer and a roll of duck tape. Tell us of McGyver-like repairs and whether they were a brilliant success or a health and safety nightmare.

(, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:58)
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This happened about 5 minutes ago ...
backstory [wibble wibble]

After many years of enjoyable travel, the husband and I bought a house and started populating it with furniture, children and a few guinea pigs. One of the most important things to purchase was a mighty bookcase as books are some of our favourite things.

Having a pair of adventurous climbing spronglings, we decided to secure it to the wall with an angle bracket and a well placed screw [fnar fnar]. Unfortunately, the sturdy wood of the bookcase and our cack-handedness resulted in a loosely affixed angle bracket that would probably just give us an audio cue if the one of the kids started to climb it. In the spirit of dodgy DIY everywhere, we looked at each other and thought, Fuck it.

Placement of the mighty and not too firmly attached bookcase was also poor. We left a gap between the bookcase and the nearest adjoining wall.

A gap about big enough for a small child to hide in.

Returning to the present moment ... I hear from the study: "AAAAH ... CHOO" Thump "WHAAAAAAA!!"

Upon entering the study, I find my three year old daughter rubbing a phillips head screw indent in her forehead.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 7:26, 14 replies)
I get some wood the same width as the skirting boards.
Drill holes in the back of the bookshelves and then into the masonry (it can be tricky - an extra pair of hands helps.) Rawl plugs into the bricks, then some long screws thru the bookshelves, piece of wood and then into the rawl plug. Those fuckers aren't going anywhere.
EDIT: I even had some bookshelves made with the piece of wood already fastened to to back of the shelves!
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 8:06, closed)
My parents had one of those huge impressive oak dressers in the front room, which as it turned out didn't have the top half screwed down.
So when I was about 4 and decided to climb up it to retrieve something from a high shelf, I pulled the whole top half down on myself.

The shelving tipped forward, smashing all the neatly-arranged crockery and landing face-up on the floor, somehow missing me. I remember everything doing dark as it flew overhead!

So yup, it's always worth securing climbable furniture where there are lively toddlers.
I also screwed chains to the lounge windows of our first-floor flat to stop them opening far, after finding our first child hanging out of one. That was a bit of a stomach-churner.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 8:08, closed)
You are Buster Keaton, and I claim my five pounds.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 9:47, closed)
Hahah, that's certainly how my mother saw me!
She had to go next door for our neighbour to calm her down with a cup of tea with whisky in.

Keaton did that stunt with a real house-front because a fake one would buckle under the strain and be more dangerous.

The top half of the dresser didn't touch me as it toppled over, presumably because I wasn't even as tall as the lower half so it fell past me.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 10:00, closed)
Is she dead then?
Come on ... don't leave us hanging.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 9:06, closed)
No, you can tell because there was a thud first, then a shriek.
If the shriek comes first, then the thud, then silence, that's when you worry.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 9:48, closed)
No funnies, but
My then 2 year old daughter pulled a 3/4" thick glass tabletop onto her head once, which knocked her over and smashed on top of her. It was just held on by those rubber anti slip things and gravity.

It was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. Since then, everything bigger than a flowerpot has been bolted, screwed, tied or glued to the nearest solid object.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 9:56, closed)
Including your daughter?

(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 10:16, closed)
That'd be a more practical solution, short-term.

(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 10:28, closed)
I missed 'handcuffed' off the list.

She's 7 now, so I let her use the welder, chainsaw etc. However have a 9 month old son, we keep him in a cupboard.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 11:12, closed)
One of mine was so lively and dangerous to let out of my sight
that when he was about 10 months old I was once reduced to taking him to the lavvy with me and holding him down with one foot while I did my doings.

As parents will know, this is no exaggeration. A few years ago two little Scottish twins were crushed to death when they awoke from a nap and decided to climb on a chest of drawers, pulling it over on themselves.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 11:35, closed)
Look on the bright side
If the indentation is well defined then you need never search for a Philips screwdriver again. Even better if she becomes possessed and can do an Exorcist style head spin.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 11:55, closed)
Her head'd spin the wrong way though
the screwdriver'd just score the wall around the screw instead of driving it in.
Tsk, amateurs.
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:04, closed)
So hold the screw with pliers and use her to rotate the wall
obviously! Who's the amature now eh? Eh?
(, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 23:58, closed)

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