Hands up, if
a. You read Lord of the Rings when you were about 15 and loved it, and:
b. You tried to re-read it after watching the films and found it a load of long-winded, borderline right-wing sludge, occasionally interspersed with exciting bits.

I mean, Tom Bombadil? WTF!
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:57, 22 replies)

I walked out of the second or third film as it was duller than almighty fuck.
I didn't half get some stale-breathed tutting as I shuffled past all the roleplaying fatoids. Why would that encourage me to re-read the books?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:15, closed)

Dude, you missed all the good stuff.
By that, I mean the drawn-out, not-at-all homoerotic closer at the end of the third.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:19, closed)

One of the stretched and faded black tshirts on my row was making little chirping noise during an elf scene.
I am almost certain he was having a little wank.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:21, closed)

I fell asleep when some trees started walking.
I got woken up by the bloke next to me shouting 'Yeesss!'

I don't know why he was shouting that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:59, closed)

He had spaffed on your thigh.
Hope that helps.
( Pig Bodine., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:20, closed)

Oh, fuck.
I thought that was just the cheese sauce from my nachos.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:20, closed)

i never read them, or saw the films in the cinema
i thought the first film was passable in that it didn't take itself too seriously, but the other two were utter bilge
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:37, closed)

I saw the 2nd film with my ex-mother-in-law, which made it more entertaining, as she hated it and muttered disbelievingly all the way through
"Why does magic only work some of the time, why? Why can't Gandalf just magic the monsters away for them?" "Why do the hobbits look small in some scenes and normal size in others?" "Why does Frodo wear the ring on a chain round his neck if putting it on is so tempting?"...etc.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:43, closed)

No, really, reread what he said.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:13, closed)

Hahahah
QO, you are very funny when you are not being a twat.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:59, closed)

I'll admit to part b)
but in actual fact, despite the fact I read the books, like, three times before the films came out, I still spent a lot of time during the films going "Oh, is THAT what the actual story is? Huh.".
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:58, closed)

So what you're saying is that you're not bright enough to follow the perfectly straightforward plot of a book aimed at adolescents despite numerous readings?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:03, closed)

No.
What I'm saying is that the book is four times as long as it needs to be, and I lost track of the line between 'events' and 'smartarsed masturbatory linguistic padding'.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:34, closed)

Yeah, Tolkien, you elitist bastard
why don't you just say what you mean for once?
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:58, closed)

So what you're saying is that you're not bright enough to follow the perfectly straightforward plot of a book aimed at adolescents despite numerous readings because the author used too many words?
That makes all the difference.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:11, closed)

So, what you're saying is, you have less of an attention span than a goldfish with ADHD?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 17:24, closed)

The second film (and book) doesn't really have a story of its own
...it's just filler between the first and third parts. You could probably edit it down to 30 minutes without affecting the story noticably.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:12, closed)

Try reading the Silmarillion.
What a pile of dog poo.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:20, closed)

Lord of the Rings
Is just Harry Potter for people with better memories.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:10, closed)

Harry Potter has a shitness all on it's own level.
The dire drivel that drives the hp series is appalling.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:29, closed)

they're kids books for children, they got kids reading which isn't such a bad thing
adults who read them or watch the films are cunts tho
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:15, closed)

First attempted LotR when I was 9,
but gave up, due to the excessive volumes of text devoted to describing trees.
Tried again when I was 12, and loved it.
Thoroughly enjoyed the films, then went back to the books. Enjoyed them again, but remembered why I'd given up on the the first time - Tolkien really does love writing about forests.

I rather liked Tom Bombadil, but I can see why they kept him out of the films.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 15:14, closed)