
Freddie Woo sends us a tale of woe which ends: "I could live with being cheated on. What really got me that there was clearly a third person holding the camera, and the arse pummeling up and down sometimes had a tattoo, sometimes it didn't. I moved out that day." Tell us about how a relationship's come crashing down around you.
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 13:18)
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These constant cries for attention and then refusing to answer my letters and calls are pissing me right off, and I'm thinking about leaving her for Natalie Portman (now).
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 16:55, 18 replies)

Is the "(now)" designed to indicate that you prefer her current incarnation over her 12-year-old flavour in Léon?
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 17:42, closed)

HTH
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 17:47, closed)

Although at my age it's hard to remember.
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 17:51, closed)

Reminds me of that chav party with the banner "Happy 30th Birthday, Gran".
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 17:52, closed)

I'll put t'kettle on again if y'like, but no sugar this time.
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 17:55, closed)

The anti-nonce defence. See also the Lazytown defence, the Emma Watson defence, the Miley Cyrus (no, me neither) defence, and so on.
( , Thu 12 Sep 2013, 18:16, closed)

will you ask her to pick me up an iPad next time she's out?
( , Fri 13 Sep 2013, 11:47, closed)
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