I like breasts (a poe-wim by Pooflake aged 30 and a bit)…

I like Breasts - I think they are the best
I don’t know what it is about those lumps on Ladies’ chests

On girlies all around the world...The North, South, East or West.
If they’ve got jugs they’re fine with me ‘cos…i.like.breasts

The merest whiff of ladybump will spark my interest
If they are far away, or up against me they are pressed
I love to touch and squeeze them, or just watch them be caressed
I think you’ve got the message now…i.like.breasts

The kind of tits that I desire don’t live in some tree nest
I like to see them naked...and I like them if they’re dressed
I’ll even take the slapper-hounds like Jordan and Jo Guest
(I’d scrub my cock raw afterwards, of course) but…I.like.breasts

I couldn’t give a fuck if you approve or you protest
Just ‘cos I think they’re awesome doesn’t make me some 'sex-pest'
Let's throw a topless party and we’ll call it ‘Jubbly-fest’
If you’ve got baps then come along! ‘cos…i.like.breasts

I sometimes wonder if I'm just a little bit obsessed…?
'Cos getting 'sneaky cleavage views’ has been my lifelong quest
I’d even look at Thatcher if she hitched up her string vest*!
There’s really no denying it…i.like.breasts

Just thinking of sweet boobage and my pants will soon be messed
12 seconds after seeing norks…my right wrist needs a rest
But if you think I’m bullshitting then put me to the test!
I’ll say once more then I'll go…

I


Like



BREASTS!


*(Possible exaggeration - God help me!)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 12:48, 3 replies)

I fucking knew this qotw would draw you back. *grins*

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 12:49, closed)

aww....

To be honest I haven't even checked B3ta for yonks.

Slow (read: shite-hawk boring) day at work and here I am.

Have I missed much?

(I missed you obv)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 12:52, closed)

Nah! same old stuff.
How's your gout?
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 12:55, closed)

I went on a diet...

And Lost 4 and a half stone.

Part of said diet meant no alco-ma-hol.

Gout gone. For ages

...


Then as I eased off on the diet I found out it was all the Bovril that I was drinking that caused the gout. Apparently my body does not like half an oil tanker full of liquid salt every 3 hours pumping through my crap factory...who'd have thunk it?

Stopped Bovril...Gout gone...started alco-ma-hol again.

Am now happy. Part of being sober possibly had a bit to do with being off here...I struggled to find anything funny.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:02, closed)

Poofers old boy!
Nice to have you back.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:05, closed)

Good to be back DG...

How's the phenomenally significant other?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:09, closed)

Not too bad, ta.
And I'm sure she'll be delighted to read your little opus.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:13, closed)

OMG! I bet you look great.
I really can't imagine you alcohol free but Bovril free, yes. Glad your well anyhoo.
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 13:06, closed)

Me looking 'great' is a physical impossibility...

Consider I have a face like a bag of smashed crabs.

But I'm slimmer...there's no getting round that.

I'm now 12 1/2 stone...but I'm going to keep going until the world cup...then I'm going to go on a month-long-gut-busting-beer-and-fodder frenzy that will have my sofa struggling to cope with the immense-ness of it all.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:09, closed)

There is upcoming Blousey bashage you know.
All the best internet people will be there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:14, closed)

Lorks! - I'd better rattle Captain Placid's cage...

And see if he's about...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:16, closed)

I told him too.
Get your slimline arse up here and make my year.
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 13:20, closed)

This poem is full of win
Have you written music for it yet?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 May 2010, 13:08, closed)

Blimey! - Thank you...

As for music...Nah, I'd need a guitar or piano for that...and seeing as I'm at work with a crap-heap laptop that I find difficult to strum...

I did (kind of) have the music to Monty Python 'Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis' song in my head when I was spoffing it onto these illustrious pages though...

Looking back at it now, it doesn't quite fit like that anymore.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:13, closed)

I just think it needs a tune
I hear it in the 'music hall' style, in my head.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 May 2010, 13:40, closed)

FLAKEY BOY!
*smooshes*

Excellent work, as always, old fruit!
Great to "see" you again :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 7 May 2010, 13:40, closed)

Helloooooo!...
*returns smooshes bashfully*

Good to be back.

Don't know how long I'll be back for this time...but I thought I'd post something after blowing the cobwebs off my B3ta account for the first time in ages.

How've you been?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 13:43, closed)

A bit radio rental to be honest,
playing around with dosage of the loony meds, but seem to be stabilising at last :o)
My, you look so skinny, I hardly recognised you! Hooray for Bovril exacerbating the gout and not alcomahol!
I was about to do Fatalie Cassidy's "Then & Now" workout, but thinking of you now, I'd rather break out the beer ;o) (to celebrate you being back).
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 7 May 2010, 14:01, closed)

Well, bugger me with an industrial hover-mower...

Tell the workout to 'cock-off', and spend the remainder of the afternoon drinking heavily and swearing...

I'm fighting the urge to shout out 'cunt-wobble' really loudly in the office as a tribute to your sweary greatness.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 14:07, closed)

Hee hee :o)
Go on then - I will if you will!
That reminds me, I yelled rather loudly in the staff room the other day about a particular child being a "collosal helmet" (which he is). Then one of my colleagues pointed out a group of students sat at a table near the back, one of whom was this kid's older cousin. Might be presented with my P45 on Monday.... I'd rather be a lumberjack anyway ;o)
So, you hauling your skanky ass up to Blousie's next month? Tis 7 weeks this weekend :-D
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 7 May 2010, 14:17, closed)

I'm seeing the Placid-ator this weekend...

I'll see what he says.

You know...Thinking back I reckon CP has actually mentioned it to me before...but I had drunk quite a considerable amount then...

(not saying that like it's a bad thing)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 May 2010, 14:29, closed)

Hoorays!
*fingers crossed*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 7 May 2010, 14:33, closed)