I once had to almost physically restrain a tipsy noo joiker in Naples
because he insisted that pizza was invented by Italian immigrants in Noo Joik but the pizzeria we were eating in claimed to have been opened a hundred years before. He was genuinely fighting furious.

Typical fucking hysterical wop.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 8:49, 15 replies)

Silly Shambles.
Don't you know that the septics invented everything, and won every war single-handedly?
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 8:55, closed)

his second line of angry attack was the indisputable fact that tomatoes come from the USA.
and not Peru or whatever it was

he was actually a perfectly nice person with a decent degree from somewhere I'd heard of
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 9:01, closed)

USA, Peru?
Tomato, tomayto.
( Ghoti Fingers, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 9:08, closed)

there are probably about twenty Perus in th'USA.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 9:27, closed)

Did you say, "shaddapayaface"
Because if you didn't, you should have.
( Ghoti Fingers, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 9:05, closed)

awwww man
totally wasted opportunity

:(   :(   :(  
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 9:08, closed)

If the pizza were invented in Naples, why do they call them Margaritas after the Mexican drink?
Tell me that Dr. SmartASS
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 9:30, closed)

Margaritas were named after Maggie Thatcher because of her bravery and honour during the Falklands war.
Whereas Margherita pizza was named after Stork Margarine because that was one of the original ingredients when they were invented in Basingstoke in 1978.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 10:31, closed)

I HAVE ALMOST SMASHED MY KEYBOARD BANGING AWAY TRYING TO FIND DECENT
so-called INTERNET SAUCES TO DISPROVE YOU BUT I HAVE FAILED. CAPS LOCK is now INTemiTT fuck it
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:12, closed)

'almost' physically restrain?
Did you 'tut' at him disapprovingly, wag your finger and say:

"Now see here, scallywag. If you do not cease and desist such merkin-induced fuckwittery, I shall have no other option than to give you a dose of some good old British spunk" before rolling your fists around in a 'Queensbury rules' stylie.

Is that what you did? I do hope so
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 11:52, closed)

Every time I read one of Shambo's posts, I assume he's doing that.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:01, closed)

this is a much better version than the truth which involved a light-hearted post work discussion taking a beery turn for the angry
so I'm going to say 'yes - that's exactly what happened'.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:04, closed)

By jove.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:13, closed)

Splendid

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:45, closed)

<s>or</s>, etc

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 13:13, closed)