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This is a question Brits Abroad

Union jack shorts, bulldog t-shirts, bars named after soap operas, hen parties in Malaga. Tell us about your encounters with the worst (or best) of our fair country's travelers around the world. Alternatively, tell us about your own doomed quest to find a decent cup of tea in Moscow.

(, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 13:01)
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To Flanders Fields The Idiots Go, but only if they can survive the ferry.
Just to clarify, my previous story was written by my twatty friend who discovered my laptop open at this site. Most of you agree that it was quite cringeworthy. God knows if it was true. This story, however, is real and my own.

It was my last year of high school, and we were on a trip to Belgium to see the WW1 battlefields. We were perfectly equipped with sod all apart from a Gameboy and about 80 euros each. The mishaps happened when we discovered that our ferry cabins going from Hull would be next to where about 2 stag dos and a hen party were staying. Needless to say, our group encountered them all at about 11pm at the bar area when they were completely hammered. I remember one of my friends trying to dance, then tripping over a lorry driver gyrating on the dance floor.

We discovered a shirtless bald man asleep outside our cabin the next morning. Our misadventures continued in Bruges, where we were assaulted by the plague of mimes rampant in many European cities, attacked by Belgian cyclists and ripped off when clubbing our money together to by a second hand guitar. After we got to our hotel, we were reliably told that 'we shouldn't get too settled on this floor, because a girl's school will be needing rooms too'. As we were testosterone-crazed teenagers, we couldn't believe our ears. Later, we discovered that it was an all girls primary school.

Worse came when I cut myself on barbed wire in Sanctuary wood and nearly got tetanus, my friend got food poisoning from a Belgian burger and a teacher was detained by customs. My friend Charlie, having collapsed and subsequently recovered, had demanded his phone returned. it was, but he wasn't happy. The porn certainly hadn't got there by itself.

Afterwards we discovered that our dorm had put 100 consecutive hours into pokemon emerald.
(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 16:54, 12 replies)
Your twatty
friend was funnier.
(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 16:58, closed)
seriously? you're going to pretend your account was used by somebody else?
have a tiny bit of fucking dignity, pal

what sort of pissant coward cunt are you with fucking 'viking'in your name? Christ
(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 16:58, closed)
Hey guys... can I go back and use this excuse on some of my drunken answers please?
I swear... my twatty friend did them! Also... In BRUGES!?
(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 17:28, closed)
alright The Goderator

(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:22, closed)
I am surprised that no one noticed that you were only put off the girls school because they were
primary age. But you were going to go full pedo on them if they had a bit of top dressing.
(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 18:53, closed)
I don't think anybody else read past the bit where he claimed his last post was his 'mate'

(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 19:16, closed)
Can you drink whatever it was that turned you into your "twatty friend" before posting again please?
Tales of the Honda Milquetoast of Justice are far more entertaining than Inarticulate Non-Stories of a Crashing Bore.
(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 19:39, closed)
^Another example of why replies should be allowed to win.
(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 20:09, closed)

(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 21:59, closed)
Twatty friend, hahahah, yeah, right.

(, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 20:10, closed)
Alright, Treeki?

(, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 8:48, closed)
(, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:39, closed)

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