Oh for Fuck's sake...
I promised I'd never post a story a week late in the manner of a cunt.

And here's my story about being a dad.
As of last friday I am one.

You post the bloody question whilst we're actually in the hospital having the wee babby heaved out by three burly midwives using a sink plunger*.

I now have 8 pounds nine ounces of wee pink conehead to deal with.
Woot!

*It was a special medical sink plunger, but I shit you not.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 19:37, 15 replies)

congrats
enjoy it
( zulu eh?, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 19:59, closed)

congratulations

(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 20:02, closed)

aaaww, sweet!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 20:07, closed)

Yup, congratulations!
Enjoy the sleepless nights, sick-soaked shoulders, empty wallet, complete domination of your free time... happy days.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 20:09, closed)

Congratulations!
And after your description of the birthing process, I willl now remain childless.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 20:11, closed)

Grats!
And may I sell you my two wee'uns?
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 21:41, closed)

I recommend the bearnaise sauce with that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 5 Dec 2010, 22:15, closed)

Best of luck!
My (unplanned) bundle of joy is getting on for three years of age, now. Still weirds me the fuck out, at times.

Invest in a Rainforest Jumparoo. They're worth their weight in gold.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 2:14, closed)

They are still doing that?
I was born that way, but that was in 1973. On top of that i had Icterus, so i looked like a coneheaded yellow little alien.

Don't listen to all the horror stories, being a dad is totally worth it. The first "i love you daddy" is priceless and worth every single diaper.
(Robotnik, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 10:06, closed)

^ this
is completely true
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 17:33, closed)

hooray!
what sort of baby is it?
(jennymnemonic, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 11:29, closed)

polar bear...

(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 12:31, closed)

Congrats!
Will conehead stick?
I gained the nickname Mekon Head from family members after being yanked out with a big pair of tongs. Between then and now, advanced medical instruments have clearly made leaps and bounds ^_^
(MaxZero ZeroMax, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 12:49, closed)

Congrats!
Those suction cups they use certainly make the head funny looking, don't they? Don't worry, it'll round out before school-age.
(ladydyani, Mon 6 Dec 2010, 14:28, closed)

Plunger??
Oh no! I have that to come??
(imanaturalblonde, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 13:22, closed)