Life in a Northern Town…..
After opening an account on B3ta all those years ago I promised that I would not do two things:

1) Re-post any of my own stuff

and

2)Post something that is so big I have to put it in the replies section.

I have broken promise number two, my original answer is in the replies.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:14, 4 replies)

Meh....
A few weeks have passed since the horrific/ hysterical gas explosion and tram derailment at the end of Coronation Street and life is slowly returning to normal for most of the residents. Most of the locals carry on their typical lives of murder, rape and drunkenness and Norris now owns the little shop and has made a policy of only stocking sweets of a soft nature after Rita died from head trauma from falling Yorkshire mixture and cola cubes that had broken free from their jars when the place was smashed up by the back end of the tram of death.

For some reason the car repair shop is not open for business. The residents can hear work being done behind the shutters but for no one ever sees any new clients coming to the premises. The place seems to have gone downhill since Kevin lost everything. His missus dumped him after she heard of the affair, his bit on the side met the business end of a plummeting tram and his workmate Tyrone had burnt to death after a pigeon that had fallen asleep over the corner shop had been caught in the explosion, became engulfed in flame and flew from the burning wreckage into Tyrone’s face (A lifetime of working at the garage had meant that the oil, petrol and other flammable objects had soaked into Tyrone’s pores, making him an a human equivalent of a petrol soaked sponge). The place still smelled like petrol roasted pork weeks later.

The drilling, hammering and other assorted sounds would carry on late into the night until one day when Ken was voicing his opinion on going to investigate or write a strong worded letter to the council it stopped. And the only thing you could hear was the sound of an engine purring while a blue light surrounded the garage doors.
With an almighty crash the doors blew off the garage doors and out stepped Kevin and a teenage boy no one had seen before.

Kevin introduced his assistant as his son Jack, Kevin had saved him from the fire and had decided to raise the child in secret and that him and his child worked together as a duo running across the rooftops on a night in identical costumes created from discarded Newton and Ridley bar towels. During the daytime they spent their time creating a time machine from old parts of motors and things they found from the canal during their night time patrols in a hope to go back and change the past.

Many of the people present believed Kevin had finally gone mad and the idea of time travel was ridiculous, the machine he had built looked like it was made of shoddy spare parts from a Ford Orion, a number of rusty shopping trolleys and for some strange reason a cardboard standee of Terence Trent D’arby .No-one questioned the idea of the teenage kid being a different person to the 3 month old baby of Kevins as the soaps law of child actors states that a child can completely change appearance or age after being away for a good week or two and no one will raise an eyebrow.

Kevin, totally undeterred by the jibes from the nonbelievers round housed Gail (Just because it is something he has always wanted to do) and climbed into the cockpit with his son and flipped the switch. The whole area was bathed in a blue light and Kevin and the contraption vanished.

The duo in the machine were not dead or lost and had actually arrived in a place that was pretty similar but also had a couple of minor changes. The street was still looking gritty and northern but for some reason it didn’t feel right. Kevin’s was right to be suspicious when he saw Rita crossing the road towards him, she had been dead a good week or so and he remembered seeing Norris fall into her grave during the burial.

Further investigation into the matter and Kevin realises that he had not built a time machine but a machine that can jump dimensions. Over the next few weeks Kevin and his son spend their time jumping into different realities trying to get home. During their travels they come across some strange sights, visiting one alternate universe with a totalitarian government of the UK, run by a partial cyborg Jack Duckworth who uses his fleet of robot pigeons to monitor everyone and administer punishment to anyone who looks remotely southern and mentions that bitter tastes horrid. They also manage to cross into an alternate version of Eastenders but instead it is set in a place called Roger Circle and the cast are all happy and another episode starring an alternate version of Hollyoaks where the cast can actually act.

Naturally if this idea does not come off the producers are going to write the whole episode off as a coma dream made up by the cat seen on the open sequence and they can return it all to its usual fare of ridiculous storylines that aren’t as farfetched as the ones I have just written about but are damn near close.

My promise was to never annoy my wife with my absurd ideas on what will happen in the near future on her favourite soaps. I know that I will have broken the promise as she likes to lurk on these boards.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:15, closed)

tl;dr

(viciousal, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 17:14, closed)

click
from a fellow soap hater. From what i have seen what you have written appears completely plausible. Are you on the production team?
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 17:14, closed)

can't be bothered to read this,
is there a tv-quick cliffnotes version?
( fluffymitten NAN, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 19:12, closed)