Pearoast as it's apt for the only person who ever bullied me
The story of broken legs man
Again, not particularly proud of this and wouldn't do it again, but I wouldn't allow myself to be treated like that again, so it's a moot point.

Broken legs man and I first met when I was an impressionable 14 year old at YMCA day camps. He was tall, handsome and a whole year older than me. Very charming and outgoing, he went to the local posh school, whereas mine was a highly sought after comprehensive 2km away. He was going out with the camp bike and I was left to the role of best girl mate.

We met up again each summer, sometimes seeing each other during school time if our paths crossed, him looking very smart and cool while I was reduced to blushing and gibbering like a freak until I was 17, but then his mother died and with all the best intentions we lost touch for a while until I went to uni.

He spotted me in a pub back home where I had a new found confidence in myself, lots of friends, four years training in kickboxing, a decent haircut can do wonders as well as good skin which had been the bane of my life until then.

We hooked up and all was good for a few months until for reasons unknown he decided to systematically destroy my life. Not by major things that would be noticed by others, but little things like saying I looked fat in some clothes I liked - I was a size 12 at this point, but lost two stone at his behest, pointing out my weaknesses like intolerance for stupid people, how I should be nicer to his friends - not sure why as they were never nice to me and how all of my friends were shit and didn't like me.

Over the course of two years he basically broke down all my defences and made me feel like crap. He then slept with one of his hideously ugly friends and gave me an STI - not one of the horrible permanent ones thankfully, but enough to be pissed off about. I had no idea at this point that was how I'd got it as he made me think that I had it and passed it onto him. So we split up for the summer and missed each other inbetween burning doses of pain administered by nurses. He got back in touch with me and I jumped at the chance of getting back together as although I'd had plenty of other offers, I was infatuated with the little fucker.

Turned out he didn't have any treatment for his dose of nasties and within a week I was showing symptoms again and wondered why. One of his (nicer) friends took me aside and told me broken legs man had slept with another of their friends and then bragged about how stupid I was as I didn't realise. He then went on to tell me that my initial suspicions of him taking smack on a regular basis were in fact correct and the way he mashed up his chin a few weeks before was not in a car accident, but his dealer seeking to teach him a lesson for not paying up on time and sleeping with one of his bitches.

Armed with this information, plus some other stuff that I'm not going to discuss here I went to see him and when confronted, he laughed in my face. A swift roundhouse brought him down, a couple of punches broke three ribs and a few well times stamps broke his legs. One below the knee and one above the knee. The rising smell of fecal matter necessitated my exit, but not before hocking up a greenie and depositing it on his face.

Aside from everything else, if you're going to cheat on me, make it with someone better looking, not a chavvy minger with shit for brains as that's just insulting.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 13 May 2009, 15:42, 12 replies)

I can picture the likely responces to this.

( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 15:44, closed)

Me too
it got quite a few last time
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 13 May 2009, 15:45, closed)

If this had happened to me
I'd want to tell the Internet about it more than once.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 15:47, closed)

Imagine the gender roles in this story are reversed
and you'll see just how warped our attitudes are to violence between couples - mine included. My initial response was along the lines of 'go on Becky, smack the bastard'....until I thought what the reaction to this tale would be if it were told by a bloke about a girl.


EDIT my ex has done things to me that more than warranted a good stomping, from animal cruelty and forcing me to break down my own front door to going for me with a knife. But as a 6'2" bloke, imagine if I had?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 May 2009, 15:56, closed)

I have a friend named Joe who received much the same treatment as I did from his girlfriend
and put up with it for about 5 years as he didn't want to rock the boat as he loved her. This is despite her putting him in hospital twice with broken limbs and a hairline fracture to his skull once.

I'm not allowed to go near her, despite my non violent stance now just in case.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 13 May 2009, 16:00, closed)

Couldn't agree more mate
Womans Lib, Equal Rights, Equality.....things that woman like to pick and choose from.

"Yes, we want A,B and C, but we can't be arsed with D, E and F"

If i was living with a male friend, and we were having a heated argument, or 'lively discussion' and one of us stepped over the line and said something reprehensible...the course of action would be one telling the other that if they said that again, or reiterated it, then a punch in the chops would be forthcoming....

...apologies and hand shaking would probably follow quickly

or

...if the insults were uttered again the smack in the mouth would be duly delivered

easy peasy

however, having a 'lively discussion' with a member of the opposite sex can be much more complicated and fraught. Partners especially know exactly the right buttons to press and will do so with glee and mild enjoyment, safe in the knowledge that physical violence is not an option....this means that the verbal bile increases and increases with no boundaries.

I have known woman who have deserved to slapped, just as i know men who deserved to be slapped....so what is the difference, the crime or the gender.

But yes, its bullish and 'right on' for a girl to stick up for herself and mete out justice by way of a roundhouse or two, but fuck, if i wrote a story about how i kicked the fuck right out of my wife for giving me a STD, well, i think we all know what the outcome would be.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 May 2009, 16:52, closed)

He sounds like total scum
...almost as much as you.

My only hope is that your next QOTW answer is one of how you were kicked shitless in an unprovoked attack leaving you hospitalised with X amount of broken bones.
( mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:25, closed)

You think it was unprovoked?
ok
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 13 May 2009, 21:46, closed)

I can
see no issue with it - and in the end you probably did him a good turn - he probably spent sometime in hospital being asked all sorts of questions and perhaps getting some help for his opiate addiction...

At the end of the day we live in a too sanitized society... a good old fashioned kicking never hurt anyone.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 13 May 2009, 23:28, closed)

You don't really mean that though.

( WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:37, closed)

fucking good luck to ya.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 14 May 2009, 6:32, closed)

Good work
I had a similar problem with my long term girlfriend. She slept with one of my friends, stole my money and ruined my life. So I broke 7 of her fingers, her nose and gave her a cauliflower ear she still has.

Good on me eh?
(Hippo_of_Doom, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:48, closed)