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This is a question Bullshit and Bullshitters

We've had questions about lies and liars in the past, but this time we're asking about the sort of fantasist who constantly claims they've got a helicopter in the garden or was "second onto the balcony at the Iranian Embassy siege". Tell us about the cobblers you've been told, or the complete lies you've come out with.

Thanks to dozer for the suggestion

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55)
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I haven't masturbated
since I met Mrs Sandettie 21 years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 14:01, 5 replies)
Neither have I
But to be fair I only met her a year ago
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 14:09, closed)
Me neither.
But then I only saw her a couple of hours ago.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 14:10, closed)
What a load of wank.

(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 17 Jan 2011, 14:17, closed)
Nor me
She does it for me
(I helped save b3ta! shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 14:41, closed)
Did
she cut your cock off?
(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 15:14, closed)

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