getting Jan'd (apologies in advance for length)
(This would also be my contribution should b3ta ever run a 'when did you first get rascally drunk' QOTW....)
In my first year of A-levels, the AS Chemistry students (all 50 of us) were taken on an interminable coach trip to the University of London for a revision seminar. This basically consisted of sitting in a lecture hall on hard seats designed for no-one taller than about 5'3" (I'm 6'4") for hours on end listening to two examiners chunnering on about stuff we already knew. One of them was the most boring and humourless public speaker I've ever had to suffer, while the other was from Bolton (thickly accented too) and talked very loudly and enthusiastically, all the while urging us to "luke in the buke!"
Three chemistry teachers supervised us on this wonderful sojourn (one of them was also my form teacher); they had all fucked off to the pub more than an hour before the lunch-break. So I and some mates decided to follow suit - we found a pub about 200 yards from the lecture-hall and spent our lunch-break in there getting pissed. When it was time to go back, a hardcore half-dozen (self included) thought 'bugger this for a game of soldiers' and stayed there for a further two hours. I was successfully getting off my tits by alternating pints and doubles of neat whisky (ouch!) and was almost horizontal by 3 o'clock. Somehow we got back to the lecture theatre without being mown down on the roads or injuring ourselves too severely. (I can't remember what happened between then and leaving, but I do remember going for a slash, barking my shins on the door, and not even feeling it.) Anyway, we finally left at about 5 o'clock and I had a brief conversation with my form tutor (famous for his love of beer) in which neither of us understood or listened to the other, then promptly fell asleep when the coach got going.
We eventually reached the M25, and the coach was picking up enough speed to leave the road and make me feel distinctly ill - I chucked a technicolour snake shortly after, and spent the rest of the trip (another three hours) shivering uncontrollably. My form teacher later admitted that he'd found it funny (so did I, eventually), but one of the others was not best pleased and called me into the interrogation room the next day (I missed assembly - woo!!!) where I was threatened with expulsion, being reported to the police etc. (me being underage at the time an' all) while pie-eyed from a nasty hangover. Not good at all. Needless to say neither of these happened in the end, and I proceeded to get three 'A's in my A-levels (Maths, Physics, Chemistry) and am now studying chemistry at Leeds University (2nd best in the country after Cambridge) and am a proud member of the LUU Real Ale Society - so there.
Curiously enough, my old school no longer runs that trip!

First post - arf!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 3 May 2005, 17:37, Reply)