*Sigh*
I'm already getting annoyed just thinking about this.

I work in an office where buzzwords are the norm. So far, after more than three years, I have remained steadfast in my refusal to be sucked into adopting the buzzword-speak that my colleagues (who started at the same time as me) found themselves parroting after less than a week. Clear sky thinking, thought showers, thinking outside the box, finding ways forward, direction of travel… and loads more that I try each day to block from my mind.

“Ah, you’ll end up talking like that – it’s unavoidable”, laughed my boss. No it isn’t. Three and a half years on, and I have never succumbed to asking a colleague if we can touch base because there’s an issue on a project that we need to bottom out. Because that, frankly, sounds like I want to feel their arse behind the water cooler or something. If you have a problem with something and you need to have a chat to sort it out, why not just say “I’m having a bit of a problem with this project, have you got five minutes to have a chat and see if we can sort it out?” It’s bollocks, and makes you sound like a complete twat. You go to a meeting with a small business or community organisation and talk like that and you’ll be lynched within seconds.

My organisation also has regular management drop-in sessions called ‘touch base’, where lowly members of staff can hob-nob with the management to discuss ‘the issues affecting them’. I’ve never been to one yet and delete the invitations without reading them on the grounds that attending would probably make my ears bleed and drive me to rock slowly back and forth on my chair, humming softly in order to block out the nonsense phrases being bandied about.

Frankly, I'd rather poke a tiger with a stick than listen to that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)