One of my friends,
who we'll call Billy, never used to swear (and by swear, I mean 'crap' was too risqué). He also doesn't drink... so you know...one of 'them'.

He swears now, on occassion, but when we were younger he used to invent words to use in place of swear words which used to irritate the hell out of us. One of the worst ones was 'crubbish', the merging of 'crap' and 'rubbish'.

One time, Billy decided he didn't want to eat the apple in his lunchbox, so another friend took it and decided to see how far he could kick it. It ended up hitting a year 11, who picked it up and threw it back, yelling "REBOUND!". We all saw the returning apple and dodged, apart from dear Billy, who was sat on the floor munching away on a roll. The apple struck him smack on the forehead and he instantly curled up into the fetus position.

Looking back, there's nothing quite as funny as seeing a apple-juice-coated boy lying on the floor muttering, "crubbish, crubbish, crubbish!" under his breath.
( guffguff fuckes your gradeds balls!, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 16:17, Reply)