Time wasting
So I was unemployed for a while. If you are home a lot during the day, you get a lot of cold callers. I was bored a lot so would find more interesting ways of getting them to hang up on me. I would do stuff like eating crisps loudly, pretending to be unable to understand English ("Sorry mate, I don't speak English. No, no-one else here does, at least, not last time I checked. No, I really haven't got a clue what you're saying. Seriously, I can't speak English") and the like.

But my absolute favourite was, upon being asked if I had ten minutes to participate in a survey, replied "Depends, would I have to stop masturbating while I do it?" Remarkably, the bloke hung up straight away.
(ScousersPet, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 15:51, 3 replies)

Would be interesting to respond to every question (including the Y/N ones) with "masturbation".

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 7 Sep 2009, 16:31, closed)

Had to go "Click"
This made me cackle like a cockney gran!
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 21:39, closed)

^^
'Like' ?

/sorry
( snee held his breath since, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 10:11, closed)