I wish to register a complaint.
When I buy things, I tend to expect a certain standard of customer service. Obviously I'm not fool enough to think that the person selling me things actually likes me, but I hope for them to at least pretend to value my custom and opinions for as long as it takes for the transaction to be completed.

On the other side of this is that when things go wrong I get to write stroppy complaint letters, which is always fun. I recently attempted to buy some stuff from a popular online retailer, which proved to be a serious error. The delivery went wrong and I got bounced around their call centre for the best part of a week fruitlessly trying to get some sort of answer.
When complaining I've often found that it pays off to take your compaint as far up the management structure as possible, so I got my hands on the email address of their chief executive, and sent him this:

Dear Mr. X

A little over two weeks ago, I made a purchase from your website. For your records your UPI number was 123 456789 and your Senders Reference was 123456. On the 26th of June I got a 'we called, you were out' card through my letterbox from your contracted delivery company Useless, Inc. I enclose a scan of this document so you can see what I've had to work with. Most of the card is completely unintelligible as I don't read Serbo-Croat, but someone suggested that the word after 'we left your package in a safe place' is 'Behind'. That's all we can work out.
I live in a top-floor flat. The only way to leave anything 'behind' my flat is to throw it out of a window, so it can't possibly mean that. So behind what? Or who? Or where?

After searches 'behind' (behind the bins, behind the door, behind the tree over the road, behind the cat) proved fruitless I rang Useless Inc. on June the 29th to ask about my package and was told that in fact they still had it and would be happy to deliver it to me on Wednesday the 1st of July.
As it hadn't turned up on Friday the 3rd of July I rang again and was told that someone who could help with my problem would call me back.
I spent the weekend of the 4th and 5th untroubled by anything like a call back and so rang Useless Inc. again on Monday the 6th, when I was told that someone who could help with my problem would call back.
On Tuesday the 7th, I rang again and was told - you guessed it! - that someone who could help with my problem would call me back.
You won't be surprised to learn that nobody did, and so I rang again yesterday - Wednesday the 8th - and was promised (scouts honour, hand on heart) that someone who could help with the problem would call me back "Within half an hour".

After a further 24 hours of silence I've given up on Useless Inc. and I'm writing to you direct. I'd rather not be doing so and I'm fairly confident that it's not what you wanted when you got out of bed this morning either. I have a contract with you, Mr X, to deliver me some goods. I would still rather like them. Unfortunately your delivery subcontractors have now messed me around half-a-dozen times and they're doing my opinion of your customer service no favours. My normally patient and sunny disposition is wearing thin.

I'd be grateful if you could have a word with them and get my purchase to me as soon as possible. Failing that a refund would be an acceptable alternative, but I'd rather get the stuff I actually bought from you.

I look forward to hearing from you, if only because I haven't heard from anyone else.

Yours, etc.

Taking complaints right to the top works; I had an apology and a full refund within an hour of hitting 'send'.
(davywavy, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 10:17, 8 replies)

Well done
That is assuming you can get to the top.

I had a problem like this recently and funnily enough any kind of supervisor or manager were always out of the office. They never called back and none of the phone monkeys could give out any information about him/her like an email address or even a name.
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 12:01, closed)

Which company?
It's amazing what you can find if you dig.
(davywavy, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 12:20, closed)

Vodafone
....
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:23, closed)

Vittorio Colao, Chief Executive: [email protected]
(davywavy, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 11:09, closed)

You're being pretty unfair
I work for a company that sends a couple of hundred parcels out a day. We use a courier company that is well known for leaving obscure cards, and generally messing us around. When they screw up, we get very angry, and there isn't really anything we can do - the courier has the parcel, and are probably refusing to tell us where it is, if they've delivered it, or where they've hidden it. We will though do our best to find out.

My slightly rambling point is that the villian of the piece is Useless Inc - we hate it when the courier screws up as much or possibly even more than you do.

That said, I hope the sender company were polite to you when you contacted them.
(Foxinsockssir, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 12:48, closed)

Sender Company were lovely.
I had a long chat with their customer services lady who told me that my email had given her a laugh and she'd be using it the next time they had a contract renegotiation with Useless, Inc.
Heaven knows why anyone would use Useless, Inc's services - I have a niggling suspicion that we're talking about the same company as their name always comes up with 'hopeless delivery services' are mentioned.

However, my legal contract was with Online Retailer. How they get products from them to me isn't part of that contract. They're responsible for a rather large swodge of my money and had failed in their contractual duties to get my purchase to me.
(davywavy, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 12:54, closed)

Fair Play
Is their name something like packagefarce?

And you are entirely right in terms of the contract, a reread of your post reveasl that invective is entirely directed at delivery idiots rather than sender company. Oops. My bad.

The level of abuse we get sometimes though because of them is quite astonishing.
(Foxinsockssir, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:07, closed)

I can understand
I try never to sound off at people when it isn't their fault - especuially the call centre people, who are paid to pick up the phone but problems aren't their fault. I'm rude to senior management who are responsible for the failings and employ call centres in order to avoid having to deal with people like me :)
(davywavy, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 11:10, closed)