AOHell
OK, I'll finally bite with my tale of woe.

Seeing as my first home broadband was with AOL I'll probably get little or no sympathy, but at the time it was a great deal, and it was uncapped.

Anyways, all was well for the first nine months, then I started getting disconnected randomly.

I would spend at least an hour every night (at premiuim rates) to their laughably title 'Help Centre', which in fact seemed to be a 12 year old Indian boy using a Question/Answer software to determine my problem. Everytime a solution was suggested, I'd have to hang up, try it, then have to ring back, go back through the automated system, to a different call centre jockey, explain everything again, and stop them when they got to the last solution that had failed.
The last solution offered me was that my processor was too loud and it was interferring with the broadband signal. I would have to buy a new processor. That was it.

After two weeks of this (and two weeks of dial-up) I decided I'd had enough and wanted to switch. All I had to do was get my MAC code.

After a hugely inflated wait, I finally got through to someone who seemed very reluctant to give me the code I needed to switch suppliers. After asking me complete a survey (which I refused to do), asking me if I would be interested in a different package (I wasn't) and so on it continued thusly:

HIM: Before I do that, sir, can I ask why you wish to cancel your contract?

ME: Because frankly, I have no faith in your technical support, who have cost me a great deal of money in phone calls, and I ended up resolving the problem myself.

HIM: I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do to help resolve this matter?

ME: You can refund my phone calls and give me the MAC code I asked for five minutes ago.

HIM: I'm afraid we cannot refund calls made to our phoneline.

ME: Can I have my MAC code then, please?

HIM: Before I do that, sir, can I ask if there are any other users of the broadband service in your household, sir?

ME: Yes, there's my partner.

HIM: And how does she (very presumptious) feel about you cancelling the AOL contract?

ME: (trying to keep my cool) It's none of her business.

HIM: I'm sorry?

ME: It's none of her business. The broadband is MY concern. I decide which service we use. I've decided I don't want to use AOL anymore, and this phone call is the final bit of icing on the cake. Now, can I please have my MAC code?

HIM: Yes sir. But beofre I do that, sir...

ME: MAC CODE.

HIM: Yes, sir, but...

ME: MAC CODE.

HIM: Yes, sir, but...

ME: Sir, I'm trying to stay calm. I'm ringing on a premium rate phone line costing god knows how much per minute for you to give me a MAC code. I'm not interested in anything you've got to say except the digits of the MAC code.

HIM: Yes, sir, but I need your email address.

ME: You're going to email it to me?

HIM: Yes, sir.

ME: You can't give it to me over the phone?

HIM: No sir. We need to email it tyo you.

ME: So why do I need to phone you?

HIM: So we can get your email address.

ME: (pause) [email protected]. Thank you. Goodbye.

(slams reciever down)
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:04, 6 replies)

wow
That's the strangest email address I've ever seen.

Oh, I see!
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:29, closed)

I recall when you first
told me this. What a bunch of t'ssers.

Go you, Mr S.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 18:01, closed)

*waves*
hiya fella!
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 8:16, closed)

I'm somewhat of a numpty when it comes to nerd boxes
But aren't MAC numbers individual to specific machines, and you should be able to find the number in the machine's specs somewhere?
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Wed 9 Sep 2009, 23:00, closed)

MAC in this case
means something like Migration Authorisation Code. Bit like the PAC code when you change mobile contract.
( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 0:01, closed)

Aaaah, Now I get it.
Too many acronyms are the same.

Damn you, technology!

*Shakes fist at sky*
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Thu 10 Sep 2009, 10:15, closed)