My best/worst night ever.
I was seeing a girl (we will call her S). I say seeing, I mean we were in a total clusterfuck of a relationship in which we only ever saw each other at one particular club on a Friday night (Escape in Swansea for anyone who cares), but talking on MSN all through the week. I had asked her out and she had said no, but kept stringing me along. Bullshit things like "I just want to be single for the moment but I really like you so let's keep doing what we're doing" and other things like that. It was really screwing my head up and I was starting to act like a real arsehole when drunk. This, funnily enough, also coincided with the short period I experimented with ecstasy.

This had been a good week (despite it following her kissing another guy the week before), and we were going to meet each other in the club. I went out with friends beforehand and got uproariously drunk and otherwise intoxicated, proceeding to tell the landlady of my local and her daughter that they were both horrible people and should be ashamed of themselves (they'd sacked a friend of mine for not working hard enough when she'd been in a car accident three days beforehand and was in a neck brace).

In short, I was pissed off and it was all coming out.

We went to the club about 11. I went inside, entirely off my face but still conscious. I looked around but couldn't find S.

So instead, I went onto the dancefloor, looked at the first attractive girl I saw, went over and pulled her. I am a cocky bastard when off my face (see previous dice story for evidence). I can't remember what I said but in my hazy memory it seemed to take about ten seconds between introduction and first kiss, which is possible if I was being a real fucking arsehole.

I stopped kissing her (possibly due to resistance) and turned around to see S, looking directly at me, shaking her head sadly. I did a kind of Fonzie "Heeeeeeeeeeeeey" at her, as if to indicate "Yeah, I'm a cunt, but whatcha gonna do?" She turned around and walked away.

I cannot remember any more of the night. I have in fact always told S that I can't remember any of the night at all, but I certainly remember that first part. The rest of the night included kissing up to four other girls, including S, who seemed to have a remarkable tolerance of my utterly ridiculous and cuntish antics. But then maybe she realised I really was off my face when I kissed a guy as well.



PS: I'm the slightly manlier-looking one on the right.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:40, 13 replies)

*Click* for
looking directly at me, shaking her head sadly. I did a kind of Fonzie "Heeeeeeeeeeeeey" at her, as if to indicate "Yeah, I'm a cunt, but whatcha gonna do?"

And also the balls to stop the POIDH posts!! HAHA!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:47, closed)

How the fuck do you get into clubs while your fucked and how the fuck at 11 o'clock
and also good technique. I like how your right arm is going in for a face stroke
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:48, closed)

I thought
being fucked was the default state of entry for clubs. Certainly is in Swansea... and no reason not to go there at 11. Good music all night, cheap drinks, and all my mates were there too.

And thank you. I have been told that it is the sexiest man-on-man kiss most of my female friends have seen. Also that it was take 2 as the camera didn't flash the first time. :/
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 1:49, closed)

Escape in Swansea...
What a place, not surprised you pulled so quickly in there!
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:09, closed)

i used to go to face/off there
I never pulled
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 18:15, closed)

That girl you're kissing is a babe

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:10, closed)

As if!
Clearly it's a man that's been 'shopped
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:30, closed)

this is
not quite the default reaction.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 2:11, closed)

this is
the default reaction of everyone to that photo. I can only consider this a good thing.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 1:52, closed)

'That's no Boy!'

(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:32, closed)

What's Milliband doing in a club pulling. Shouldn't he be campaigning?
(shanterbabs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 20:09, closed)

Why are you kissing Mark Owen?

( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 17:12, closed)

You have the side profile of David Milliband

(PassTheKhat, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 1:50, closed)